Hostage Situation – Inside Yourself? – Richard’s Commentary

I can certainly relate to Rosemary’s Exploration this week. And it’s not any one or big fear that holds me back from “living my richest life.” It’s usually little things. And when I move beyond the fear and look back I think: “what was I ever afraid of?”

Most of my little fears come from my childhood. I was an only child for a long time – my next brother came along when I was already eight. I was protected and even revered within my extend and large family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. And because family was always there I didn’t have to venture out much into greater society.

So, when Rosemary asks: What part of you is holding another part hostage? I can usually point to my inner child – that protected and easy living six year-old.

Rosemary is exactly right when she says:

But most of the fears that I see with clients represent a conflict between a part that wants to step forward and a part that is afraid to do that.

It can be around any issue: a relationship, a job, money, family, taking a risk, making a decision. There is a feeling of wanting to move and yet, at the same time, a sense of paralysis.

My adult self always wants to step forward; I am usually energetic, decisive and know what I want. But sometimes that six year-old digs in his heals and sets up a block out of some weird sense of protectiveness.

Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever feel paralysis as you work toward an important goal? When this happens to me I usually have to go inside to work through the issue. Sometimes I even have a talk with the six year-old to calm any fears he may be experiencing. I remind him of several factors in the situation:

  1. I am in charge and I know what I am doing; I’m the adult, after all!
  2. We have done things like this before and it always comes out well!
  3. Look to the end result, the success. Doesn’t that make you happy?
  4. Let’s just move forward and see what happens; you’ll be OK.

This inner dialogue can take several forms: meditation, writing, even sometimes a shamanic journey (for me this is similar to an inner guided meditation) to visit my places of safety and my power animals. I can even take my six year-old into the future to see the positive outcome and allay any further fear.

Of course using a coach or counselor is always an option. Inner child work can be very powerful and productive. The tools and help are there for all of us to “live our richest lives!”

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Create Your Baby! – Richard’s Commentary

Rosemary and I just returned to the East Coast from LA and our first visit to our newest grandson, the baby who was the inspiration for Rosemary’s post this past Friday. It is wonderful to have a baby in the family again, even one who is 3000 miles away! We are now inspired to see him often, to watch him grow and to nurture him along his way, as only grandparents can!

And by writing this I have formed my own “baby”, one of my “next steps” in the process of living the life I choose. My intention is to play a significant role in Tristan’s life, no matter where his parents choose to live. Meeting him and being with him this past week reinforced his “calling” to us for our attention! Now I just have to make it all happen. How?

The answer is in Rosemary’s post:

The most important choice that you make is the choice of thoughts that you will think.

Really. This is most important. Your thoughts really do create your reality. Many people try to deny this but worrying about something you DON’T want energizes that which you don’t want. You want to program your unconscious mind to focus energy on that which you DO want and you make this happen by choosing your thoughts to support the direction of your creative dream.

So, I am choosing to think that I will spend significant time with Tristan as he grows and develops no matter how far apart we may live. I have been traveling much of my life for much less important reasons; I intend to continue my journeying well into the future! And I do know that my thoughts and intentions create my reality. Here is a minor story to prove Rosemary’s point.

During our trip to LAX from “the Valley” yesterday traffic was heavy – imagine that! But we had allowed plenty of time and neither of us was worried about our schedule. My boarding pass indicated I was “pre-cleared” through TSA to even save time through security screening. Rosemary set two intentions as we approached the airport: an easy bag-check process and she would join me in the “pre-cleared” line! I was so confident that we were in good shape that I set no intentions for myself as I dropped her with the bags and then left to return the rental car. Here’s where my lesson began!

As we pulled up to curb-check the bags a car was about to pull away where I needed to be; after a brief wait I pulled into that spot right in front of the skycap desk. As I got out and popped the trunk a skycap came to help with the bags; it couldn’t have been easier! I left Rosemary to get the claim checks and raced off to the rental agency.

And I hit a wall of traffic on Century Boulevard! It had been shut down to one lane for an emergency repair. I crept a car length or two through each light cycle. I finally made it to a gas station to top off the tank before returning the car; there the pump wouldn’t take my credit card so I had to go into the store twice, once to get the pump on and once to retrieve the receipt! After a half-hour delay and increasing tension I finally got on the bus to return to the airport and join Rosemary.

Security wasn’t too bad by this time and I breezed through on my pre-clearance. And Rosemary? Yes, she did talk her way into the pre-cleared line as well! We made it to our gate with plenty of time to spare!

Once again the power of intention, that “thoughts really do create reality” hit me over the head! Rosemary had set her intention for a very smooth bag-check and screening process. I had not paid attention nor set intention for a very smooth rental return process! And as I became frustrated in the traffic jam my frustration was compounded at the gas station!

A trivial example perhaps, but: Really. This is most important. Your thoughts really do create your reality.

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PS: We will be seeing Tristan in November as he travels to the east coast for a family visit and again in December as we travel to LA on business! Thoughts really do create our reality!

You Are Not Your Stories – Richard’s Commentary

Here’s the core of Rosemary’s Exploration from Friday:

It is so easy to ‘story ourselves’ into our victimhood and we hide behind our stories until it becomes difficult to find the real person behind the mask of story.

I love this little phrase: “story ourselves into victimhood.” And sometimes the stories are not even our own, but our parents’ stories or even multi-generational stories passed along through time.

An example of this is my parents’ stories from the era of the Great Depression. My Dad had to quit school after the 8th grade to go to work to help support the family. My Mom tells of a Christmas when she got an orange in her stocking as her only gift! Those times were tough, no doubt! And, for Mom they created a deep sense of insecurity around money and a sense of fear around not having enough. Yet, growing up on a Wisconsin dairy farm we always had enough.

My mother’s sense of “lack” has been passed along in my unconscious mind and I continue to work with this story. I have always had enough – enough to eat, comfortable shelter, great jobs, a fabulous family – everything a guy could ever want. But there is a little voice in the back of my mind that still says things like: “we can’t afford that”, or “maybe someday when…”

As I look back I have been blessed, taken care of, never experiencing the “poverty” my mother spoke of and carried forward in her stories. But a small piece of her story is alive in me. I am not that story and I work on moving it out of my life, catching myself in the feeling of lack, remembering I am not lacking in anything and sensing a deep trust that I will always be taken care of.

Rosemary adds: The only reason to tell a story is to show how you’ve grown beyond it so that you can help someone else experience the same growth. I can safely tell my “money story” because I have grown beyond it. And I continue to grow beyond it!

We are in California now visiting our newest grandson, Tristan. A few days before leaving I checked our financial accounts and mentioned to Rosemary we would have to be mindful of the budget on the trip. Within two days she booked a client for a year-long program, paid in full! Trust is always preferable to any sense of lack! The reminders just keep coming.

It’s OK to remember the stories, just don’t get stuck in them. Remember the lessons and move on.

And enjoy the New Moon, Wednesday, 2:14 am EDT.

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Exploring the Field of All Possibilities – Richard’s Commentary

Rosemary’s exploration this week is a great lead-in to her Possibilities Playshop scheduled for this Saturday. It is not only the Playshop but the Playbook, the product of the Playshop, that is an amazing tool to help with “exploring the field of all possibilities.” Let me explain:

During Rosemary’s Playshop we play at several activities designed specifically to get us out of our heads, out of the problem space, so we can move into the field of possibilities where solutions lie. And one of the first steps is to clear the way to get there, clear the limiting beliefs that tend to hold us in “tunnel vision.”

Here’s how Rosemary describes the “problem”:

This is the way that we can hold ourselves back from showing our greatness to the world. Tunnel vision is the very block that prevents us from seeing the possibilities that are in front of us because our focus is so narrowed. And we feel as if there is no roadmap out of our situation.

We do this clearing, opening up beyond the tunnel vision, through visualizations. This is necessary to begin to believe that there may actually BE a “roadmap” to the field.

Once we clear the old beliefs, a process to re-vision the problems and re-create a new vision forward, we are then in a great space to create the roadmap. And this is no ordinary roadmap, but one created and guided by our intuition. This is where the “play” begins in earnest.

Briefly, we pull pictures and words from old magazines, images and phrases that appeal to us. We do this fast without much thought about why they appeal. This is somewhat similar to creating vision boards (have you ever done one of those?) but with less intention, suspending the rational left-brain activity and relying on our child-like unconscious minds to direct the play.

Pictures are put in an envelope, words in another; pictures can even be sorted by size and put in different envelopes. Then the “roadmap” or Playbook is created by pulling pictures and words blindly from the envelopes for each of the months going forward. We actually align our calendars with the phases of the moon to bring an even deeper intuitive, feminine connection to the Playbook.

The resulting Playbook is an intuitively created “solution space” to use as a guide for the months/year ahead. The pictures and words can be interpreted as the moon cycles through her phases. I frequently consult my Playbook for a number of reasons, including when I am stuck or catch myself in tunnel vision.

I use my Playbook as a journal to record events. It is always curious to review the pictures and words I chose months ago to see how they inform my current situation. I also record my I Ching Gua that I cast at each new moon; there is always an alignment with the reading and my Playbook entries for that moon!

The point here is not to “sell” you on the power of Rosemary’s Possibilities Playshop event but to suggest there are tools you can use to move easily, even with a lot of fun, from tunnel vision around a problem to a new vision of expanded possibilities where solutions live. Inner work, access to our intuitive powers, even play serves to offer a way forward!

And remember, problems are lessons waiting to be learned in the field of all possibilities!

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5 Steps to the First Step – Richard’s Commentary

You know that old expression – “watch that first step; it’s a doozy”? Well, Rosemary assures us not to worry too much about it because that step can be divided up into five! And I know how well this works.

A few years ago, we were still in Colorado, when Rosemary offered a weekend seminar in her program, The Intuition Edge. Across two days of a workshop setting (more like a playshop!) we learned her system to determine that next, first step. It included these five lead-up steps Rosemary outlined in her post on Friday. As a quick reference here they are again:

  1. Breathe
  2. Connect to Your Vision
  3. Clear the Blocks
  4. Commit to Forward Motion
  5. Connect with Your Intuition, Your Inner Guidance and Ask for the First Step to be Unveiled to You

As you might guess I really like that first step. I do a lot of breathing; it’s part of my Qigong practice, my Yoga practice, my meditation practice. When awareness needs centering, breathing is the best approach.

It is the breath that helps us connect with anything, and everything. It is essential to connect within. And where does that vision of where we want to go next reside? Within!

How do you “see” your vision? I think we in the west call this direction we are headed a “vision” because we are such a visual culture. But can you sense your vision in other ways? Can you taste it, smell it, hear it, touch it? If you truly want to activate your vision apply all of your senses; begin to experience the vision in your whole body, as if it is real. It is real!

What blocks stand between you and your vision? Do you fear attaining that vision? Do you hesitate because you are unsure if it is the “right” vision? Are you confident you have the resources needed? There are many ways we sabotage ourselves. This may be the most important and the most difficult step of the five. Do the inner work here, whether it’s to dispel limiting beliefs, move through inner-child fears or gain trust in yourself and the Universe.

Commitment is a requirement. If you are not truly committed to your vision then no “first step” will appear. If the commitment is weak, go back to step 2 and connect or re-connect to that vision. This is a process. It is likely not a linear one but circular; view it as a spiral as you get closer and clearer about your vision.

When you are committed go for the guidance. Once again this is inner guidance and once again we get there, seek it through the breath. See why I like this process so much? We get to breathe!

And then there are many tools to use to stimulate and listen to the inner guidance, that intuitive side of our consciousness, our intuition edge. Use as many as you need and are comfortable with. Use divination tools like a pendulum, oracle cards, Tarot cards, astrology, numerology. Test your vision using these tools and ask for the next step toward that vision. Remember, you only need the NEXT step.

Then TAKE it…”step out in innocence and trust.”

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Be Your Brightest Self! – Richard’s Commentary

Rosemary’s article and post this week continues this conversation about “being the light.” I have heard her and the multiple “sources” she channels say many times “you are the light of the world.” This is an easy phrase. Many of us have heard it most of our lives as quotes from the New Testament of Christian Bibles. Jesus frequently said this about both himself and his followers.

But when that simple phrase is closely considered it is not necessarily the easiest concept to embrace! In particular here is one challenge Rosemary throws out:

And when you are having a bad day, do you seek the light within yourself or do you try to pull others into your bad mood to commiserate with you?

OK, I don’t think I try to pull others into my bad moods. But I do have them. And when I am in a mood that is not necessarily of the lightest variety, do I seek the light within? Not always! Do you know what I mean? Are there moods you experience that are dark but you want to stay there, to feel them, to wallow for just a bit? There’s a soothing quality to these moods sometimes.

But consider others around you. I have to pull this notion toward me first when I am in one of my moods. Now that I’m retired I “work” at home. And, yes, it is actual work to keep two businesses going. The point is I am home, with Rosemary, a lot. We do have a big enough house to spread out and go to separate rooms. However we are frequently and often together; our moods rub against each other. It is much easier and more pleasant to reach for the light, even when I am in the darkest of moods – it’s only fair!

How do I do this? As I’ve written many times I have lots of practices to move my moods around: body practices include Yoga and Qigong and I do one or both almost daily. My mental practices include reading, research and my “morning pages.” My “pages” are the quickest way to shift my mood. I enjoy writing anyway; to write about my moods is a sure way to dig in to them, sift through them and finally shift them. Some of my page writing begins quite negatively. But by the end of the third page they always end on high notes! I don’t even know how this works, but it is true. It’s a wonderful practice, for me, and the reason I’ve been doing it for years now.

My spiritual practices include several forms of meditation. But it is difficult, for me, to meditate when I am in a mood. The mood needs to be shifted first. I need to “seek the light within” first and be in that space of light in order to still my mind. But there is one Koan meditation practice that does work; I’ve written about it here before. It is to simply ask the question “what is this?” when the mood insinuates itself enough to be recognized as “a mood.” The question is answered and then repeated several times until the root cause is revealed. It works. You might wonder at first if this is more like a mental practice, but as the questioning and answers move deeper the process does become meditative.

You may ask “why go through all this; moods change eventually.” Hopefully for most of us this is true enough. But here’s what Rosemary says about the “why”:

Your purpose on Planet Earth is to be your own Sun, to shine your light. Those around you are looking to you to shine. They need the light of your love and warmth as much as they need the Sun’s. Who are you to withhold that light from them?

It starts inside. We need ourselves to be lights for ourselves! And this radiates out to those closest to us. And it continues to radiate out to the neighborhood, the community, everyone we encounter from store clerks to friends, from family to strangers (friends we just haven’t met yet). Imagine if we all knew this purpose and became “suns” for everyone else on the planet!

For one thing we’d all have shining eyes – and that would be something to smile about!

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The Light Quotient – Richard’s Commentary

I am struggling with this response. Why? I am in a bit of a dark place at the moment, so Rosemary’s post is aimed directly at me! And what do we often do when something is aimed directly at us? We freeze! And I’m sitting here at the keyboard a bit chilly, frozen, dark!

But here goes! Here’s the key to the whole article:

You might never have thought about decisions and choices as a matter of assessing Light Quotient before but the time is here to bring more Light into the world. Thus, we must constantly focus on how much Light we are contributing to the energy field around us and around the Planet.

Staying in my dark mood is a choice. I realize that and have been moving this choice around in my mind – and my heart – since yesterday afternoon. As I went to sleep, and it took awhile to drop off, I worked to lift the “light quotient” all around me. And it took work! I did a “nightly review.” Do you ever do this? It’s a good exercise: before dropping off to sleep go over in your mind all the events of the day, moving in reverse order, latest event to earliest. Review the events, and especially your responses to those events from the perspective of learning lessons. Ask: did I respond appropriately? Could my reaction have been different, better in some way? How might I have done that differently, more effectively? This process is not about self-judgment but about learning and improving. Maybe another question can be Did I bring in enough light into that situation?

This process did help me drift off to sleep last night. It didn’t solve any problems and it didn’t lift my dark mood entirely, but it did bring more light into my life and my rest (dreams were good!).

Now, here, this morning there are still some clouds overshadowing the light in my day so far. But as I write I have the sense that there is a lifting to those clouds. Maybe just writing about it has helped bring in some light. I do picture myself as a “writer.” I can add this “tool” to my approach to lifting the “light quotient” in my life. In fact, this is exactly what my “Morning Pages” practice is about. Following the Julia Cameron Artist’s Way approach has helped me with the “light quotient” in my life for many years!

When I awoke this morning my first thought was about this blog article and how I was resisting it, resisting writing about this business about “light quotients.” I was still in the darkness. But I asked how I could bring in more light and that’s when I reminded myself that “I am a writer.” I need to be able to write about anything, even (especially?) about light when I am in the dark!

The sun is coming out. My day will be bright now because I am choosing to see the sun beyond the clouds. I wish for you a sunny day filled with an abundance of light. And if you are in the clouds ask what choices you are making to remain in the shadows. It’s a process and takes practice!

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Know Thyself – Tools for Self-Knowledge – Richard’s Commentary

As I was writing my “morning pages” today I realized after a couple of paragraphs that I was writing today’s post and commentary on Rosemary’s Exploration article. I began my pages, as I often do, writing about the passage of time; here’s my entry:

We are running out of Leo fast; and then August. Everyone seems to be noting how fast time is now passing.

Of course it is all perception – as everything is. One effect on our perception is the amount of information we are bombarded with moment to moment. 24-hour news, FaceBook, email, the never ending stream of websites and blogs is literally overwhelming. When we are overwhelmed we can go into a spin, a dive that seems endless, frightening and high-speed. Time melts away in the dive – it almost feels like a death-defying dive!

And it is all perception! The only reality is of our own making, our own perceiving. To change our reality all we need to do is change our perspective. And this is a matter of intention and attention.

It begins with intention: what is going on inside. If we feel we are in free-fall, take a breath, maybe two, deep cleansing breaths, and then put the brakes on. Stop the fall. Sink into the dantien (the lower abdomen area) and breathe there. It is possible to float here. And as we float we can get a sense of flow, of going with the flow. The current doesn’t have to be a raging rapids; it can be a slow, lazy summer river taking its time in search of the sea. It can take on any speed we give it because this is our reality. We can imagine it to be any rate of flow we desire!

It’s good to take time out of a busy life to slow the pace. There really is no place to go. There’s nothing to do. Oh, OK, there are chores of life, tasks we set for ourselves, responsibilities we sign up for and lessons to learn. But we can be and breathe through all of these.

The “being part” is the witness who rides above all of the rapid pace, the wild passage of time, the endless stream of information. Rise up to that level and watch it all. How serious does it all appear to be – how real? How important?

From that vantage the passage of time seems almost irrelevant. Yes, we have our lessons to work out, our karmic Lesson Plan. Here’s where attention comes in. There are external influences that come to play in our lives. We have other people’s perceptions to take into account and to process. When we pay attention we can see and learn the lessons these interactions hold for us. This is a matter of shifting our perspective from “encounter” to “classroom.” We shift from “other” to “mirror” – how is this person mirroring me, my interactions and my behavior?

Inner perspective, intention, and outer perspective, attention, are always relative, which means they are adaptable, transmutable. The simple technique of using breath to do the adapting is all that’s needed. One breath can stop the fall, gain a fresh perspective and shift reality.

I have moved now well into my birthday month, working on my 70th year! To many, and sometimes me, this sounds old! And from this perspective that time is speeding up, I may not have much time left! So, I take a breath and try this on: “70 is the new 50”! Ah, that’s better and about how I feel! And soon enough 100 will be the new 70!

Rosemary asks: Have you explored tools to help you understand where you are coming from? What about where others are coming from? Do you value the differences in how people approach learning, or life, or do you expect everyone to see things as you see them? To listen and to hear exactly what you hear? To feel the way you feel?

My answer, as it is for many things these days, is “I practice Qigong.” Breathe deeply and gain a new perspective on your “reality.”

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Trim It Up! – Richard’s Commentary

Transparency

This is a word, a feeling, a state of being I am working with this week. It came to me as a card from the Mayan Oracle deck that I referenced in my Monday post. It is a “lens” card – a diagram and a word to help us with perspective. And it seems I am gaining a very new perspective through this lens. Here is some of the writing I’ve done so far from a perspective through this “transparent lens”:

Transparency is about trying on new roles, new personae. It is about dropping the mask of illusion and stepping into a clear and blissful vision of the egoless self.

This takes tremendous trust! It is a vulnerable opening process backed by the belief that the Universe is completely benevolent, safe. We are safe to be anyone we can choose. This is Divine Bliss.

This clarity allows the light to radiate in, from and through with no filtering by the personality. It is a pure radiance…

And,

Robin Williams died on Monday. Did he derive his talent, skill, genius from being as transparent as any human can be? When Gurudev speaks and writes about the “witness” is he not talking about becoming transparent?

Rise out of the ego state and look, observe from that higher platform of transparency. This is a “dark mirror.” This is a “black hole” as Gurudev states. And it is completely transparent. From this vantage Truth can be seen.

Gurudev is Yogi Amrit Desai, an amazing man who has written of the importance of rising out of ego and personality into the state of being as “witness.” I compare this to moving into a state of complete transparency.

The process of becoming transparent to this level seems akin to “trimming it up.” Rosemary’s image in her post used trimming the dead branches of a tree in our yard to illustrate her point. The process cleared our view, brought in more light, made the yard more transparent and lightened the tree of its dead weight. Trimming to the point of transparency lifts us to new levels of vision and greater heights of bliss. Why is this important? Rosemary’s answer:

The guidance I am receiving is that we have no time now to pussyfoot around. We are focusing on growth, on expansion, on moving into deeper territories where we live the examined life, not an unconscious one. If you have relationships, situations, ‘stuff’ that doesn’t support you, that you feel holds you back or, worse, is toxic for you, then it is time to trim that out of your life.

“Live an examined life.” Become more transparent, especially to yourself. This is the call. And from that high vista you can be anyone you choose!

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How’s That Planning Thing Going for You? – Richard’s Commentary

We are on the last leg of our journey to the south, visiting family and friends all the way from Maryland to the “main event” in Orlando, Florida and back again. Today we are leaving Raleigh, North Carolina where we have spent some time with second son’s family, to head home and plunge right back into our “normal” lives. In fact we arrive just in time to lead our Consciousness Exploration Group scheduled for the first Wednesday of every month.

It has been a “busy” trip with one-night stands in several places as we drove south. Planning and coordination was key to keep us relatively on track to get from place to place. The trip has gone really well. And I expect our last leg will go well.

We did get a little tangled up in navigating between Orlando and the Amrit Yoga Ashram, where we spent a delightful time with our nephew. Our Google Maps were not in complete agreement with our GPS guidance and we made some wrong turns on the toll roads. We spent a couple extra dollars backtracking, and, yes, my reaction was anger and frustration. I failed to take the advice Rosemary offered in her Exploration post:

Event happens.  Then you React.  And then you CHOOSE how you will respond.

Event (Plan seems to go awry).  What is your REACTION?  Anger?  Upset? Depression? Denial? So many different emotions can arise and they can stem from previous experiences, even from your childhood.  Reactions start at the unconscious level. But your RESPONSE is chosen consciously.

The key here is choice. The initial reaction is OK; we all react to missteps, to little, and big mistakes, to detours in life that annoy. It is the next step that matters. It is the conscious pause to move into our higher brain and consider an appropriate response, choose that response and act.

The second key is to work on shortening the time from reaction to chosen appropriate response. This seems to be the main work of my lifetime. My primary lesson is patience; and I get many opportunities to practice! Highway detours are just an example.

We will likely need to change our plans for visiting our new grandson in California. We had planned to go out for second son’s birthday, a few weeks after planned birth of Tristan. Son’s plans went into a sharp detour when Tristan decided to come into the world three and a half weeks early! Sometimes other people’s choices affect our plans!

Son Andrew seems to have handled this big change in his plans relatively well. He and Mom are home now and Tristan will follow soon when he is eating well and gaining a bit of weight (he was four and a half pounds at birth).

Of course we are easy with this change in plans; it means we get to see him that much sooner! We have to rearrange some scheduled events and reschedule the trip; fortunately we had not yet made flight reservations.

Some detours are good, even wonderful. This is what Rosemary means by “this or something better.” The best plans include this line!

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