Hostage Situation – Inside Yourself? – Richard’s Commentary

I can certainly relate to Rosemary’s Exploration this week. And it’s not any one or big fear that holds me back from “living my richest life.” It’s usually little things. And when I move beyond the fear and look back I think: “what was I ever afraid of?”

Most of my little fears come from my childhood. I was an only child for a long time – my next brother came along when I was already eight. I was protected and even revered within my extend and large family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. And because family was always there I didn’t have to venture out much into greater society.

So, when Rosemary asks: What part of you is holding another part hostage? I can usually point to my inner child – that protected and easy living six year-old.

Rosemary is exactly right when she says:

But most of the fears that I see with clients represent a conflict between a part that wants to step forward and a part that is afraid to do that.

It can be around any issue: a relationship, a job, money, family, taking a risk, making a decision. There is a feeling of wanting to move and yet, at the same time, a sense of paralysis.

My adult self always wants to step forward; I am usually energetic, decisive and know what I want. But sometimes that six year-old digs in his heals and sets up a block out of some weird sense of protectiveness.

Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever feel paralysis as you work toward an important goal? When this happens to me I usually have to go inside to work through the issue. Sometimes I even have a talk with the six year-old to calm any fears he may be experiencing. I remind him of several factors in the situation:

  1. I am in charge and I know what I am doing; I’m the adult, after all!
  2. We have done things like this before and it always comes out well!
  3. Look to the end result, the success. Doesn’t that make you happy?
  4. Let’s just move forward and see what happens; you’ll be OK.

This inner dialogue can take several forms: meditation, writing, even sometimes a shamanic journey (for me this is similar to an inner guided meditation) to visit my places of safety and my power animals. I can even take my six year-old into the future to see the positive outcome and allay any further fear.

Of course using a coach or counselor is always an option. Inner child work can be very powerful and productive. The tools and help are there for all of us to “live our richest lives!”

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