Here’s the core of Rosemary’s Exploration from Friday:
It is so easy to ‘story ourselves’ into our victimhood and we hide behind our stories until it becomes difficult to find the real person behind the mask of story.
I love this little phrase: “story ourselves into victimhood.” And sometimes the stories are not even our own, but our parents’ stories or even multi-generational stories passed along through time.
An example of this is my parents’ stories from the era of the Great Depression. My Dad had to quit school after the 8th grade to go to work to help support the family. My Mom tells of a Christmas when she got an orange in her stocking as her only gift! Those times were tough, no doubt! And, for Mom they created a deep sense of insecurity around money and a sense of fear around not having enough. Yet, growing up on a Wisconsin dairy farm we always had enough.
My mother’s sense of “lack” has been passed along in my unconscious mind and I continue to work with this story. I have always had enough – enough to eat, comfortable shelter, great jobs, a fabulous family – everything a guy could ever want. But there is a little voice in the back of my mind that still says things like: “we can’t afford that”, or “maybe someday when…”
As I look back I have been blessed, taken care of, never experiencing the “poverty” my mother spoke of and carried forward in her stories. But a small piece of her story is alive in me. I am not that story and I work on moving it out of my life, catching myself in the feeling of lack, remembering I am not lacking in anything and sensing a deep trust that I will always be taken care of.
Rosemary adds: The only reason to tell a story is to show how you’ve grown beyond it so that you can help someone else experience the same growth. I can safely tell my “money story” because I have grown beyond it. And I continue to grow beyond it!
We are in California now visiting our newest grandson, Tristan. A few days before leaving I checked our financial accounts and mentioned to Rosemary we would have to be mindful of the budget on the trip. Within two days she booked a client for a year-long program, paid in full! Trust is always preferable to any sense of lack! The reminders just keep coming.
It’s OK to remember the stories, just don’t get stuck in them. Remember the lessons and move on.
And enjoy the New Moon, Wednesday, 2:14 am EDT.