It’s that time of year when the stores seem to reach out to grab you to come inside and spend your money. The meals and parties get you focused on food and drink. You have to make sure you can get to all the events, have the right clothes, the right gifts, the travel arrangements. And for many it is a time of overwhelm.
For others, though, it is a very lonely time. You might be worried about finances and wishing you had more money with which to buy gifts. You might not have any family to visit or they are too far away. You might be looking at the holidays with no plans or parties or meals to attend.
And for a few you might have family gatherings in which to participate that you are not really anticipating with pleasure.
Even those who love the holiday season can have expectations that are not met and, thus, experience disappointment.
Let’s make this year the year of truly ‘Happy Holidays’ no matter what your personal circumstances might be!
The first step to staying happy through the holidays is to do a realistic and honest assessment of this time of year for yourself. Do you really need to buy everything that you usually do? Do you need to put as much pressure on yourself as you usually do? Do you need to attend every party? Every gathering?
What is your energy level now, as the holidays approach? Do you need more rest and self-care than you need excitement and company? Why not choose a different pattern to your holidays this year?
How are your finances? Do you get stressed out by spending before the end of the year and then worrying about the bills in January? Do you buy a lot of gifts because you feel you must instead of genuinely wanting to share?
The honest assessment leads you to understand what YOU need in this season.
Next, ask yourself if you really must spend time with people who upset and disturb you or if you can find time for yourself without that burden this year. This might even be your family. Are you looking forward to seeing them or do you dread the time you spend there?
Consider a new way of operating through the holidays this year.
Everyone around you is struggling with their own life lessons. Somehow the holidays come with Hallmark Cards and Norman Rockwell expectations that nobody really experiences. If you put self-care at the top of your agenda, IT IS NOT SELFISH!!!! Let me repeat that – Self-Care is not being self-ish!!!
Taking care of yourself might be limiting what you spend this season to what you can comfortably afford. Make some gifts. Give away something that’s meaningful to you and share its story with the recipient. Go to bazaars and thrift shops and find unusual items that will delight someone.
Look at your calendar for the rest of 2013 and decide what you will do for yourself. Rest. Relax. Pamper yourself. Watch movies that make you smile. Hang out with friends or go on a silent retreat. If you’re lonely, find a shelter where they need volunteers. If you’re overwhelmed with social ‘obligations,’ decide how to handle the schedule to preserve your energy for the activities that matter most to you. Ask for help if you need it.
Spend some time planning for 2014. This doesn’t have to mean the big New Year’s Resolution list, but pick a theme for the year that resonates with your heart. Delight yourself with your plans. Dream BIG!!!
Remember that everyone around you has something going on in their life that they are having to handle. Take care of yourself so that you can show up fully present to everyone else. Be CURIOUS . This helps to keep you focused on the mysteries and not on what upsets you. Have healthy boundaries. Eat healthy foods. Take care of your own health.
Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have at any given moment – even you!
May you truly have Happy Holidays this year!
PS: Need help making it a happy holiday time? Looking for guidance and additional resources from beyond the norm? You can receive personal messages from Guides, Spirits, Angels and loved ones who have crossed over at Rosemary’s next event: a Conversation with The Other Side December 6 at 7:00 pm Eastern. Click for details
Mystic Messages 
The Agony of Angst – Richard’s Commentary
December 5, 2013 — RichardRosemary suggests there may be some pain involved in this evolutionary process we are finding ourselves in the middle of. There is always pain in not knowing. And there is so much we don’t know. When it comes to our evolution we certainly don’t know how it’s going to turn out; we don’t even know for sure that the human race will survive the process! But there are way-showers; through the millennia there have been people who emerge as prototypes for where we are headed.
But we are here now; and many are struggling with this angst of not knowing. However, there is hope and Rosemary offers a thoughtful prescription to calm the angst as we move through as standard bearers ourselves in the evolutionary struggle to emerge from the cocoon of our old ways.
Her first remedy: decide what you can control and what you cannot. You may have noticed that this post is late today. My usual deadline for posting is 10:00 am Eastern time. But I needed to make a priority choice between getting the post out and our grandson’s school holiday concert. And backing up from that we had an event at our home last evening that went much later than expected. So I chose these events over sticking to a hard and fast blog-post schedule. I can control my time and my priorities and flow with those choices. And I can significantly reduce my stress level by remaining flexible.
Rosemary’s second remedy: make sure that your spiritual life is on the path that you wish to journey. The event we hosted last evening that ran late pushing my schedule and delaying this post was our monthly Spiritual Exploration Group. Normally we gather this group at a local restaurant, but for this one everyone brought food to share and we visited the subject of Crystals and how we interact with them. One of our members is an extraordinary keeper of crystals and he set up a spiral and grid in our meeting room for this event. I have included a picture here that poorly captures his
creation and the “music” of the crystals. The evening of presentation, discussion and meditation was powerful and moving. The crystal spiral and grid had messages for each of us and seemed to offer support for our journeys.
The third remedy: Stay connected to other people. Both Rosemary and I have building community as part of our soul purpose. Our Spiritual Exploration Group is just one of the ways we are doing this and staying connected. We have brought this group together by invitation; we are very careful to invite those who are curious, exploring, growing and evolving with us. Our motto for the group is “we come together for discussion, not dogma.” We are open to all topics and any thoughts, experiences and observations are welcome. Last evening’s discussion, as an example, was free ranging from the approach to choosing crystals (or they choosing us) to deep meditation on what the crystals have recorded during their long history and what they have to tell us. Everyone had experiences to share.
The fourth remedy: Remember that you are a part of the evolution of all humanity. Holding this perspective is a good way to work through the “agony.” This work is not for the faint-of-heart!
Lastly, you are not alone. We are all in this together! No one can evolve by themselves. And no one needs to suffer the agony of angst alone. Set your priorities, look to the inner, spiritual journey, gather together to share the process and remember the great work we have been called to!
And thank you for doing your part in the work of evolution that all humanity needs at this time!