ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Be the Family You Want to Have!

My “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: Be the Family You Want to Have!

Stay Happy Through the Holidays – Richard’s Commentary

Today, the holiday festivities all begin with the day we set aside here in the US to give thanks. I’ve been giving thanks, writing notes of gratitude in my “morning pages” this week. I began my thank you notes, giving deep gratitude for my incredible partner, wife and love of my life, Rosemary. And if you have been following our blogs and reading our posts you know what a talented and resourceful woman she is. Her advice for conscious living and spiritual evolution are profound and creative. And her advice for the holidays is no different! She suggests:

The first step to staying happy through the holidays is to do a realistic and honest assessment of this time of year for yourself.

This may sound superficial but do you move into this time of year with a perspective of staying happy? We have all heard the stories of people who are alone, who dread the holidays because they don’t get along with family, who feel bad because they can’t afford to give elaborate or expensive gifts, who party and drink their way through the season. Perspective is an all-important first step to be happy in every moment.

Next Rosemary suggests:

Consider a new way of operating through the holidays this year.

Everyone around you is struggling with their own life lessons. Somehow the holidays come with Hallmark Cards and Norman Rockwell expectations that nobody really experiences. If you put self-care at the top of your agenda, IT IS NOT SELFISH!!!! Let me repeat that – Self-Care is not being self-ish!!!

Self-Care – in other words, give yourself the gift of looking out for you! Attend to your health, prepare wholesome meals for your celebrations, if you drink alcohol moderate your intake, stay warm and especially keep your neck and throat protected and warm, keep moving with yoga or qigong or another body practice, take time to meditate and if you don’t meditate this season is a great time to start, celebrate the special holidays in your tradition – make them Holy, honor everyone you meet as learning their lessons just as you are – they are you!

Compassion begins with yourself. Taking care of you is taking care of everyone. Recall Rosemary’s question in her inspirational video posted Tuesday: “can compassion for yourself equal compassion for them?” She goes on to suggest:

Look at your calendar for the rest of 2013 and decide what you will do for yourself. Rest. Relax. Pamper yourself. Watch movies that make you smile. Hang out with friends or go on a silent retreat.

As we approach the Winter Solstice, one of those special holidays we celebrate, it is a good time to go inside, to do the inner work of deep winter. The Ancients took this time to retreat, to look inward for the coming renewal. Deep inner work is another way to take care of yourself on the personal level and all others on the global level. This is true compassion!

Coming back to Thanksgiving I took Rosemary’s advice and turned inward to give thanks for me. I am grateful for my soul path, my spiritual journey back to myself, I am grateful for the health and strength to make this journey, I am grateful to myself for making the commitment, I honor myself for my discipline and I am grateful for all of the spiritual teachers and guides that hold me in their love and compassion.

Be grateful for yourself! I am grateful for you because I know you are supporting me on my journey.

Have wonderful, blessed and happy holidays!

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ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Stay Happy Through the Holidays!

It’s that time of year when the stores seem to reach out to grab you to come inside and spend your money. The meals and parties get you focused on food and drink. You have to make sure you can get to all the events, have the right clothes, the right gifts, the travel arrangements. And for many it is a time of overwhelm.

For others, though, it is a very lonely time. You might be worried about finances and wishing you had more money with which to buy gifts. You might not have any family to visit or they are too far away. You might be looking at the holidays with no plans or parties or meals to attend.

And for a few you might have family gatherings in which to participate that you are not really anticipating with pleasure.

Even those who love the holiday season can have expectations that are not met and, thus, experience disappointment.

Let’s make this year the year of truly ‘Happy Holidays’ no matter what your personal circumstances might be!

The first step to staying happy through the holidays is to do a realistic and honest assessment of this time of year for yourself. Do you really need to buy everything that you usually do? Do you need to put as much pressure on yourself as you usually do? Do you need to attend every party? Every gathering?

What is your energy level now, as the holidays approach? Do you need more rest and self-care than you need excitement and company? Why not choose a different pattern to your holidays this year?

How are your finances? Do you get stressed out by spending before the end of the year and then worrying about the bills in January? Do you buy a lot of gifts because you feel you must instead of genuinely wanting to share?

The honest assessment leads you to understand what YOU need in this season.

Next, ask yourself if you really must spend time with people who upset and disturb you or if you can find time for yourself without that burden this year. This might even be your family. Are you looking forward to seeing them or do you dread the time you spend there?

Consider a new way of operating through the holidays this year.

Everyone around you is struggling with their own life lessons. Somehow the holidays come with Hallmark Cards and Norman Rockwell expectations that nobody really experiences. If you put self-care at the top of your agenda, IT IS NOT SELFISH!!!! Let me repeat that – Self-Care is not being self-ish!!!

Taking care of yourself might be limiting what you spend this season to what you can comfortably afford. Make some gifts. Give away something that’s meaningful to you and share its story with the recipient. Go to bazaars and thrift shops and find unusual items that will delight someone.

Look at your calendar for the rest of 2013 and decide what you will do for yourself. Rest. Relax. Pamper yourself. Watch movies that make you smile. Hang out with friends or go on a silent retreat. If you’re lonely, find a shelter where they need volunteers. If you’re overwhelmed with social ‘obligations,’ decide how to handle the schedule to preserve your energy for the activities that matter most to you. Ask for help if you need it.

Spend some time planning for 2014. This doesn’t have to mean the big New Year’s Resolution list, but pick a theme for the year that resonates with your heart. Delight yourself with your plans. Dream BIG!!!

Remember that everyone around you has something going on in their life that they are having to handle. Take care of yourself so that you can show up fully present to everyone else. Be CURIOUS . This helps to keep you focused on the mysteries and not on what upsets you. Have healthy boundaries. Eat healthy foods. Take care of your own health.

Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have at any given moment – even you!

May you truly have Happy Holidays this year!

PS: Need help making it a happy holiday time? Looking for guidance and additional resources from beyond the norm?  You can receive personal messages from Guides, Spirits, Angels and loved ones who have crossed over at Rosemary’s next event: a Conversation with The Other Side December 6 at 7:00 pm Eastern. Click for details

ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Love Yourself into Your Greatness!

Here’s my video for the week: Love Yourself into Your Greatness!

PS: Are you interested in the subject of “Life after Life”?  I did an interview with BlogTalkRadio program, Explore the Afterlife, the other day. Check out the recording here!

MUSE-INGS: Clear the Path to Your Richest Life!

Clear the Fear. That might seem like a tall order for us in these turbulent times. But it really is key to living a Conscious Life.

The exercise we’ve been given, to create those lists and examine what is in our Life at the moment, and what is not, can have a profound impact on how we proceed with our Life.

Think about what you have been doing today. What is on your to-do list? Do you have activities that reflect your values and their priorities or are you afraid something will happen if you don’t get your whole to-do list done today? Is today one of the days where you would claim that you are living your richest life because of the choices that you have made? Who are you on your to-be list today? Did you even consider the question, ‘Who am I to BE today?’ when you planned out your time?

Is today your ideal day? Yes? Then congratulations! No? Then ask yourself why you aren’t living your richest life today. Did you answer with the list of ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds’ and ‘have tos’ that most of us consider when planning how to spend our time? And the next question is, ‘Whose agenda am I fulfilling here?’ Oftentimes the answer to that question leads to the source of our fears around how we spend our time. Married couples are often choosing to jump to the tune their partner is playing without pausing to consider if that is what they feel is important to them in the moment. An employee might allow interruption after interruption to occur in their day at work because they are afraid of losing their job. An adult might still be hearing the voice of a parent from long ago directing their activities and their priorities and fear the loss of approval. There are plenty of answers to whose voice might be in one’s head at any given time.

So if today has not yet played out to be your ideal day, then PAUSE, take a breath, and check with your inner guidance about what you really want to be doing with the precious 24 hours we call ‘Today.’ What really feels as if it’s the top priority for you today? If the answer is, ‘self-care,’ then are you willing to take some time for yourself today? If it’s, ‘spend time with the family’ are you willing to move something to tomorrow’s to-do list so that you can relax and connect with your family members? If it’s ‘take time to dream’ are you willing to do that?

This exercise takes some practice to master. We hear the voices or feel the compulsion and we think it is just what we are supposed to do. But really examining the source, being honest with ourselves about our fears [loss of love, loss of approval, loss of job, for example] will help us to become more conscious of what it is that we CAN control in our lives.

If you are living a reactive life, then you have given away some of your power to others or to the circumstances. It can be your limiting beliefs about yourself that keep you jumping to the tune of someone else’s song. I often find that clients I am working with think we need to develop their business plan or work on the design of their workshop, when the first work we have to do is clear the blocks, remove whatever is holding them back from their excellence, so that they can be free to examine new possibilities. The business plan or workshop flows easily when the way is clear of fear.

Clear the limiting beliefs that cause the fears. Remove the distortions that cloud your view of the possibilities for your life. This is the Life YOU are leading. Make sure you are very clear about making this your Richest Life!

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THIS WEEK’S MYSTIC MESSAGE from The Divine Feminine: “Love Yourself”

Dear Ones,

Be filled with the spirit of Love!  Love yourself.  Love the people around you. Love your Life.  Love the lessons that each day brings.  Make a decision to BE LOVE in the world.  Choose to spread the energy of Love.

Notice that we started with the charge to ‘Love yourself’ for all Love flows from Self-Love.  Make sure that you have dealt with any resistance that comes up for you when you hear that admonition.  ‘Love yourself’ is sometimes taken to mean that you must ignore other people or be self-ish in your dealings with them but we would tell you that loving yourself is the most loving thing that you can do for others.

If you would give until you are depleted of energy then you have nothing to give to the next person who might be in need.  If, on the other hand, you always take care of and love yourself, then your well will be full when you are truly needed to help others.  This is not self-ish.  This kind of self-love is the kind that allows you to be the most loving individual to others.

When your energy starts to flag, if you find yourself catching illnesses or seeming to be depleted or even depressed, ask yourself how you have been deficient in loving yourself.  Do you need to do something drastic to take care of yourself?  Sometimes this might take the form of a private retreat or vacation so that you can replenish your energetic connection to your True Self Within.  Sometimes it is as simple as an hour’s meditation or a long soak in a hot tub.  Do you need to work with someone to uncover your emotional needs?  Then make the appointment.  Do you need to start journaling?  Then make time in every day to do just that.

Perhaps you are just needing to get a good’s night sleep but other responsibilities are keeping you from that.  Decide what it would take to give that to yourself, such as spending a night or two away from home so that you can truly relax from responsibility, and then give that to yourself.

You know, deep inside yourself, what you are most yearning for.  Self-Love is deciding to give that to yourself.  Taking care of yourself and your inner needs is a part of realizing your mission on Planet Earth.  You came to the Planet to be an individual with a purpose to fulfill.  You cannot fulfill that purpose if your energy is spent on other endeavors.  Fill yourself up with the energy that you need.  Plan your day, your week, your month around making sure that you do not deplete your energy.  Eat, exercise, sleep, meditate, journal, take walks in Nature, listen to uplifting music, engage in a creative activity that feeds your inner being.  All of these should be a part of your daily life.  If you are putting off even one of these then examine your priorities.  Are you waiting for your schedule to free up some time so that you can do these things?  That will never happen if you are waiting for some external permission to include these activities.  Are you delaying because you feel over burdened with taking care of others? Then ask if your taking care of them is allowing them to blossom into their highest manifesting of Spirit energy on the Planet.  Also ask yourself if you have blocks or fears about stepping into the greatness that is yours to manifest in your lifetime.

Really, seriously examine your life and your priorities.  You must use every day of your life to further your personal growth.  If you keep putting off this work then look at the excuses you give yourself.

Today, as you read these words, make a commitment to yourself that you will start to look at your schedule with an eye to making sure that you are loving yourself first.  Program the rest of your time around those activities that feed your Inner Spirit.  The ‘you’ that develops from making this commitment will be the most loving, giving ‘you’ that you could ever offer to others!

And so it is.

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