ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Are You the Director or the Actor in the Play that is Your Life?

It is really easy to convince ourselves that we are always directing the activities in our lives. We think that we are in charge. And, yet, we often find ourselves acting against our plans, our choices, our mental outlines for our lives.

Have you ever planned to diet/exercise/be more productive/call a friend, etc., and then found that you didn’t follow through? Was it because you didn’t want to do what you thought or was it because something ‘came up’ and you didn’t get to it?

What do you believe about what ‘comes up’ in your life?

The Director of a stage play is the one who determines how a scene will look, who will stand where when, when and where entrances and exits will occur. The Actors look the way the Director wants them to look, stands where they are told to stand, moves where and when they are told to move.

When you look at your own life, how many times have you intended to go in one direction and something happens to shift that plan?

Of course, many times unforeseen situations arise and we must be in flow, be adaptable. And your unconscious mind can bring those so-called ‘unforeseen situations’ into the scenario for an unconscious reason because your conscious plan conflicts with a belief held at the unconscious level.

I see this in clients all the time. The intention is there. Everything seems to be lined up. And then something happens.

I’ve seen it in my own life. It’s called ‘self-sabotage’ and it doesn’t go away because the conscious mind makes a decision to change things.

On January 1 every year millions of people make New Year’s resolutions and, by February 1, most of those resolutions have been broken. I stopped that dance a long time ago!

It is in your unconscious mind that the programs and habits of a lifetime reside. If you were told as a child that you ‘don’t deserve X, Y or Z’ then your unconscious mind continues to believe that event if you are decades beyond hearing that phrase. If you told yourself when you were a teenager going through puberty and wishing for a date that you were too ugly to be asked out/to ask out that girl you liked, then that inner teenager might still believe that about you even if the mirror in today’s reality doesn’t confirm that truth.

What did you used to believe about yourself, life, the world around you that might be holding you back today? Is it your unconscious mind that is the Director while you and your conscious mind are merely the Actors on the stage?

You can’t just decide to do things differently and have your unconscious mind let go of those old beliefs. They are programs that are running all the time. They are beliefs that trump conscious decisions many times.

The work is to go inside and uncover the programs and reprogram your mind.

Ask yourself if you are really the Director or if there is something unconscious at work today that you would like to reprogram. Then do the work and get the appropriate help to do that reprogramming.

Decide to be the Director AND the Actor in the play of your life!

ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: 5 Steps to the First Step

Have you ever felt ready to step out, to move toward a vision, a dream, a goal and been paralyzed or unable to move forward?

We all have, at some point.  We can see where we want to go.  We can feel what it will feel like to be there.  We can almost taste that space.  And, for some reason, we are stuck.  We can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other and move.

What does it take to get to that destination?

It takes the First Step.

Once you have taken that First Step, the second, third and fourth are much easier to take.  And they seem to be evident, with a lot less confusion or trepidation, than the first one.

But what will keep you from taking that First Step?  A lot of things.  Fear.  Doubt.  A sense of unworthiness.  Confusion about what the First Step is. A Concern that you don’t have the entire route mapped out and you don’t want to take the First Step until you know for certain what every subsequent step looks like.  A lack of confidence in yourself.  A lack of commitment to actually moving toward that dream.

So what can you do when you are stuck in the Paralysis of Step Zero?

Here are the 5 Steps to the First Step:

  1. Breathe. Now this might seem a simplistic approach but this really is the first action to take in any process. Take a deep breath.    Repeat.  This sets the stage for the rest of the process.
  2. Connect to Your Vision. Get the dream/vision/goal into clear focus in your mind’s eye. Feel it.  Sense it.  See it.  Taste it.  Make it real to your unconscious mind
  3. Clear the Blocks. Identify what is or has been holding you back.  What beliefs are in the way?  What negative self-talk are you putting in your mind that convinces you to stay stuck?  This is a very important step!  Get help with this because you can be blind to your blocks.
  4. Commit to Forward Motion. All the dreams in your head will remain there unless you make an honest and whole-hearted commitment to moving forward.  Do you really want that dream or vision?  HOW MUCH do you want it?  Enough to commit yourself and your energy and your time to it?  If you can’t commit, then go back to Step 1 and Breathe before revisiting Step 2 to decide if you need to tweak that Vision.
  5. Connect with Your Intuition, Your Inner Guidance and Ask for the First Step to be Unveiled to You. Ask only for the First Step!  If you try to control the whole journey your Controller takes over.  You really want the curious Explorer within you to take the First Step!

Then, step out in innocence and trust.

The First Step will reveal the Second which will reveal the Third.  If you can’t see where to step next, then pause and Breathe.  Repeat Steps 1 through 5 for the Next Step.

You can do this!

Blocked? – Richard’s Commentary

It was a bright, sunny day with low humidity and a light breeze – a lovely June day in Maryland. I stopped at the bank on the way home to get some cash for the farmers’ market the next day. Because it was a sunny, bright day I wore my new “reader sunglasses” – sunglasses with a bifocal area for magnification to aid these aging eyes when reading in bright light. I needed to take them off to see the ATM screen at the bank; I placed them on the handy ledge below the machine.

I was halfway home when I realized I wasn’t wearing my sunglasses – my route is shady and the light less bright. I quick search of my many-pocketed vest – my alternative to carrying a purse – turned up empty. Reverse, dash back to the bank – no sunglasses on the ledge. Inside the bank the teller I know by name is free – “did anyone turn in a pair of sunglasses in the last few minutes?” She looks at other tellers and in their lost-and-found area – “no, sorry.”

I am disappointed – mostly in myself. Why these lapses? And when will I listen to my unconscious mind, my intuition? You see, when I placed my sunglasses on that little ledge under the ATM I had a brief glimpse of forgetting them there – just a flash. And I may even have muttered to myself – “don’t forget your sunglasses there.”

If I listened to that voice my unconscious mind heard “forget your sunglasses there.” The unconscious mind does not process negatives. It only hears and processes positive statements – I learned this in hypnosis and NLP training when I went to a few classes with Rosemary when she was earning her certifications.

So, how am I blocked from listening to my intuition, changing my language used in “self-talk” to make only positive statement and become more fully aware, in every moment, of what is going on within me and all around me? And, what do I do about it?

Here’s what Rosemary writes in her post about this subject:

Be grateful for your unconscious mind. It keeps your heart pumping and your brain functioning and your lungs breathing and a whole lot of other processes operating in your life without your having to consciously make things happen. However, that same unconscious mind is operating in ways that can cause patterns and blocks that you might not know consciously, and might not have chosen if you did know, and you struggle with understanding why you can’t get things done or why you seem to be blocked from your successes.

Yes, that seems true for me and does explain the blockage to becoming fully aware so that sunglasses are not lost. Is there a solution to the blocks; a way to move into full awareness?

Rosemary writes: …if you are reading these words, then you are called to continue forward on your path. Take a step in the direction of your dreams. If you feel blocked, if you stumble, rejoice that you are growing. There are ways to see beyond what is holding you back. There are tools to help you and people to support you in your growth.

Another lesson, another growth opportunity. Is this what my lost sunglasses episode is telling me? Here you can imagine hearing a loud groan!

It was just about a year ago (June 28, 2013, as a matter of fact) that I wrote a similar post here titled “Awareness.” In that post I told the Zen tale of Nan-in and Tenno. The master, Nan-in, asked Tenno when he arrived on a rainy day to which side of the door he had placed his umbrella and clogs on entering Nan-in’s house. Tenno could not answer; he studied at the feet of Nan-in for 10 more years to become fully aware!

I guess this means I have another nine years to go, another nine years of practice and study and “lessons in lost sunglasses”!



Sometimes the hardest thing to recognize is a block or a pattern that is holding us back from manifesting our magnificence. We don’t know what we don’t know.

So often clients come to me for help with a certain issue or problem in their life or business or relationship and the REAL problem is a block somewhere else. When that block is cleared, the other issues improve.

We don’t know what we don’t know because it is the unconscious mind that has so much power and it operates, well, unconsciously.

Be grateful for your unconscious mind. It keeps your heart pumping and your brain functioning and your lungs breathing and a whole lot of other processes operating in your life without your having to consciously make things happen. However, that same unconscious mind is operating in ways that can cause patterns and blocks that you might not know consciously, and might not have chosen if you did know, and you struggle with understanding why you can’t get things done or why you seem to be blocked from your successes.

Understand that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed.

But if you are feeling stuck or blocked or have patterns of behavior that you want to change but can’t seem to do this on your own, it’s a signal that you are ready to do some personal growth work. You are ready to leap forward and clear what is happening at the unconscious level so that you are free to move into your conscious choices, your conscious dreams.

Do you have a pattern that you have tried to change but willpower alone isn’t getting you to your goals? Are you stuck in ideas that maybe belong in someone else’s life or time but they are somehow cropping up in yours? Do you have trouble seeing possibilities because the problems block the view

These are signs that point to the way forward for you on your path of growth. Nobody moves forward without moving through obstacles. Some are small and others are huge. Sometimes the path is smooth and we lull ourselves into a sense of security about having ‘arrived.’ At other times, the path seems to us as if it is totally blocked, that there is no way to move forward. How easy it would be to turn around and go back to the comfort of the familiar, or to stay stuck and play the victim!

But, if you are reading these words, then you are called to continue forward on your path. Take a step in the direction of your dreams. If you feel blocked, if you stumble, rejoice that you are growing. There are ways to see beyond what is holding you back. There are tools to help you and people to support you in your growth.

Find the help that you need. But don’t go looking for the steps AROUND the blocks! They won’t get you far.

In these days of the 21st Century we don’t have time to delay. We are called to live our Purpose. Staying stuck or blocked doesn’t accomplish that.

Be who you REALLY are. Ask for help if you need it. Move through the blocks and grow.

Blocked? You can choose not to be!


My video for the week: Whose Story Are You Telling?

PS: Here is a fun way to find out who might be renting space in your brain: join me for a Conversation with The Other Side. Next Monday, May 20, at 7:00 pm I am offering an online Conversation where we talk to anyone from your past who has crossed over whose story you may be holding on to. Get more information and registration  details at

EXPLORATION: The Tools of Your Trade

If you were a carpenter, you would have a huge toolbox filled with tools that are designed for each specific task that might be required.  If you are a doctor, your office is outfitted with all the tools that you need.  And I’m sure that whatever you do you have gathered to you the tools that you need to do your work.

But what about those intangibles?  What about the tools that aren’t hammers and scalpels and mixers and computers?  How is your toolbox for Conscious Living Tools?

You might think these are not as important as the tools of your trade but I believe they are even MORE important, for success in your work depends on being successful in your life, and the 21st Century is asking us to increase our spiritual tools.

These are not religious tools, but the ones that fit us into a bigger picture than just the physical life we lead.  Do you have a way to connect with your inner guidance?  This can be meditation, journaling, connecting with Nature.  Sometimes it’s useful to have a physical tool, like a pendulum or an oracle deck of cards.  Do you have an altar, formal or informal, where you can light a candle that communicates to your unconscious mind that you are getting ready to focus inward or pray or send your intentions out to the Universe?

Creating an altar in your personal space is a very powerful way to set an intention and support the manifestation of that intention.  You can do this simply by gathering a few objects that are meaningful to you.  This does not have to be a complicated process or a formal one.  In fact, this is so personal that someone coming into your home might not even realize that the collection of crystals on the windowsill or the candle and pictures, etc. on that side table are really your altar.  What’s important is that you create something that speaks to your unconscious mind every time you see it.

Take a space that will be undisturbed and gather some meaningful objects.  Then add a candle.  I like to use candles in glass so that I can leave them burning for a while without worrying.  (And make sure there are no curtains or other flammables that can blow into them!)  You might like incense and you can certainly have an incense burner on your altar (adds the element of air).  Add pictures of spiritual teachers or loved ones or your vision board.  If you do healing work for others you might keep index cards handy so you can put the names on a card on your altar when you are intending to do healing work.

It’s nice to have the elements represented: water, fire, earth, metal, wood. Some add air to the list.  A plant or flower.  A bowl of water, especially sacred or blessed water.  One or more crystals or rocks.  Use your imagination and tap into your own intuition about what is meaningful to you.

If you use some kind of cards to get a message you can place today’s card on your altar.

Have fun with this!  I have put fruit, pictures, jewelry, gifts I am giving – you name it! Anything you put on your altar gets charged with the energy of your intentions.  If you have a new business card, put one on your altar.  A problem you want to solve?  Write it out and lay this on your altar.  Keep a pendulum or other tool on your altar.  Are you having an issue with a person?  Instead of being upset by them, put a picture or their name on your altar, maybe upside down so you’re not going into the negative energy, but set an intention to heal the problem.

There are lots of ways to use your own energy to bring healing into your life and creating an altar of intention is a powerful way to focus your energy on your desired outcome.  This also helps your unconscious mind know the direction that you want to move so it can support you on your journey.

And I’d love to see your altars!  Send me an email with a picture of your altar.  I’ll gather them on my altar to join with you in manifesting your intentions.

PS: If you are enjoying these written messages you may be interested in my Monday calls when I channel The Divinine Feminine. These are FREE calls for your support and guidance through these fascinating times approaching the Winter Solstice of 2012. The calls are scheduled at 8:30 PM Eastern Time every Monday. Sign up here for the call details

MUSE-INGS: Choose What to See

It seems to come up all the time. Choose how you feel. Access the ‘feeling state of joy.’ Stiff upper lip and all that. Feel better.

I’ve heard people tell someone who has lost a loved one, ‘When are you going to move on?’ as though that grief is supposed to be done on someone else’s time table.

You might be reading this ezine thinking, ‘Well, that’s all right for others but my life really sucks right now and so I can’t choose to feel anything different.’

But you CAN.

This is the great truth. It’s okay to feel what you feel when something in life brings you pain. AND it’s okay to imagine that you can have something different as a choice.

Just because you are in a situation at the present moment doesn’t mean that you have to stay there forever. And just because you are in certain circumstances does not mean that your every thought has to be focused on those circumstances. Why not give yourself a breather?

Right now. No matter what is going on. Take a moment to go into peripheral vision and access more resources. Choose a point on the opposite wall that is up above you and tighten your vision until you are totally focused on that point. Really tighten up your focus. Now, keeping you eyes on that point, relax the muscles around your eyes and expand your awareness to the sides of that point, to the sides of the room, while keeping your eyes on the point. Relax. You can extend your awareness to incorporate much of the space around you while still looking at the original point of focus. You are taking in much more information that you were when you were tightly focused.

The Hawaiians call this ‘hakalau,’ a meditation form that the kahunas use. It brings into awareness what is in the peripheral vision and is very useful when driving or walking through a crowded mall. It also has an effect on your nervous system. You cannot do ‘fight or flight’ when you are in peripheral vision.

Think about this the next time you believe you have no other choices. Are you focused so tightly on one point that you are in tunnel vision and can’t see the forest for the tree? Go into peripheral vision. Take a moment and give yourself the experience of hakalau. What comes into your awareness that you hadn’t seen before? What other choices are around you?

And if you can’t see another choice, make one up! Your Unconscious Mind is trusting you to give it good data. Why ask it to store away images of what you don’t want? Your Unconscious Mind isn’t judging anything as good or bad, it just takes what you give it and saves it for you.

Maybe today is the day to make the choice to give your Unconscious Mind some fabulous images to store in your very own My Ideal Day TV Show! Think of it as your mental DVR saving the shows you want to replay whenever you choose.

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How compelling is the vision that you have for your Life? DO you have a vision?

This was brought home to me by a good friend who asked me about my vision. I had some ideas but I hadn’t fully fleshed out the vision. As she asked me more details I started to get excited. I knew the details! I could see the colors, hear the sounds, feel the breeze and the temperature. I knew exactly how it would feel to be in that scenario. I could see other parts of that life, too. Active parts and relaxing parts.

And it felt really good!

Then, when I went back to writing some marketing copy, something I’m not particularly fond of doing, I had a renewed interest and excitement because it wasn’t about having to do the chore of writing the copy – it was about supporting that Life that I had visited in my vision. THAT’S a motivator!

And so I invite you to create a compelling vision for your Life, one that draws you forward toward it. If you find yourself talking about what you don’t want in that Life, that’s okay but move your language to the other side of that coin and talk about what you DO want. Sometimes we get information from the identification of what we don’t want but if we dwell on that we energize the very thing we don’t want instead of what we do want. So keep your thoughts focused on what you DO want in your vision.

Create a movie in your mind. You’re the director and the star and the screenwriter. You have full creative control over this project. What does the house look like? What is the setting? Lighting? Temperature? Location? Who is starring in the cast besides you – anyone? What foods are on the table? What colors are around you? What activities are on the calendar? What car is in the garage?

Keep going. Identify the details. Who are you with? What are you doing? How do you relax? What does your work look like?

Isn’t this fun?

And, since you are the director, you can always call, ‘Cut!’ and start over. You are always in charge of how this movie turns out, and the project doesn’t have to ever become static because there’s always another aspect to play with.

But as you see yourself both directing and starring in this film called, ‘My Life,’ step into your roles, don’t just view them from afar.

Your unconscious mind cannot distinguish between the images that are happening in the 3-dimensional world we refer to as ‘reality’ and the reality of your visions. Step into that vision and live it. Your unconscious mind will take this as instructions to ‘Make it so,’ quoting my favorite Starship Captain Jean Luc Picard.

But notice the power of your unconscious mind. It will take any command from what you think about and envision and it will assume you are saying, ‘Make it so.’ THIS is why it is so important that you create the vision of what you want and energize that! If you ask your unconscious mind to create what you don’t want, it will do so.

So it is important that you become aware of your thoughts, your words. Make sure you hold the vision in your consciousness so that you are always moving in that direction, not as if it is in the future but aligning yourself with that vision in the present. Keep yourself focused on the manifestation of your vision IN THE NOW.

It might seem like a miracle but it starts to manifest and you are suddenly realizing that you are in it!

Cool stuff, right?

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THIS WEEK’S MYSTIC MESSAGE from The Divine Feminine: “What’s Going into Your Unconscious Database?”

Dear Ones,

Be careful of the books you read, the movies you watch, the games you play. What ideas and images are you storing inside yourself?

For what you input into your consciousness is stored away and later used by your Unconscious Mind in the decision-making process. Everything that you have input is at work in your life, whether you are conscious of it or not, unless you have done some work to clear thoughts and beliefs from your memory and your Unconscious Mind.

Do you read material that makes you feel good – about yourself, your accomplishments, your life? Do you escape into a fantasy world to relax? With whom do you identify in the books, movies and television shows that you absorb?

What kind of music do you listen to? Is this uplifting to you or does the vibration or the lyrics drag you down? What kind of art or pictures do you look at? What form of entertainment do you enjoy?

Our words are not to make you feel guilty, judged or upset. They are merely to make you conscious that every choice that you make has an effect on your vibrational level. When you are conscious about your choices then you can consistently make the choices that raise your vibrational frequency to the highest level of your inner spirit.

Too often we see that human beings are making their lives like a robotic imitation of Life. They go through the motions of living but allow others to make decisions for them or even refuse to see that the possibility of choice exists in their life at all.

Do you know people who go through life as if there is never any choice for them, in anything? Are you one of these victims?

Dear Ones, you are always at choice in your life. Just because one choice might be more painful or disturbing or upsetting that another does not mean that you have no choice. For example, are you in a relationship that is uncomfortable or even painful for you and yet you stay? Are you working in a job that is unfulfilling and yet you stay?

You might think that you have no choice but is this really true? You could leave your relationship but there might be ramifications – financial, emotional, etc. You could leave your job but you might not have the money to pay your rent.

You choose what you believe. You choose what to think about. You choose how to spend your time each day. You choose who you spend your time on and with. You are constantly making choices in your life.

If you put violence into your mind through reading or TV or movies, then violence becomes an option for you when choosing what to do in your life. When you input meanness or anger or hatred or intolerance into your mind, then those become options for you to choose. If you allow others to put beliefs or thoughts into your mind then these become options for you.

Become conscious that you are constantly making choices and become aware of what you are putting into the database from which you make your selections.

You must periodically clear out this database of input that you do not want to be there. Clear beliefs that come from someone else. Clear out the lower vibration options that do not serve you now. Do the work.

To live a Conscious Life you must be aware of the choices you are making and the source of the possibilities you consider. Awareness leads you into a clearer field of all possibilities!

And So It Is!


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MUSE-INGS: ‘Why? Why? Why?’ by Rosemary Bredeson

Remember the two-year-old asking, ‘Why? Why? Why?’

Why do you suppose that question was so important to that little mind?

I wonder if the question was deeper than we thought.  Why is the grass green?  Why is there a snake swimming in the water?  Why is it thundering?  Why can’t I have a pony?

Every two-year-old has no problem coming up with an exhausting [for Mommy & Daddy!] list of items about which to ask, ‘Why?’  Maybe we get so tired of asking that question when we’re two that we exhaust ourselves and forget to keep asking as we grow older.  Or Mom & Dad get so exhausted that we figure we’d better quit to keep the peace.

But maybe it’s time to reinstate that question but ask it of ourselves instead of our parents. Why am I choosing to do this?  Why do I believe this way and not that way?  Why am I acting like this?  Why am I voting this way?  Why do I drive the way I do?  Why am I eating this? Drinking this?  Thinking this?

What if we continued to ask ourselves ‘Why’ questions all throughout the day?  This just might lead to a deeper connection with our inner self and our behaviors.  Every decision would then become a conscious decision.  Every emotion could be examined in the moment to get to the feeling behind the emotion and possibly to the belief behind that feeling.  Every interaction with another person could be informed by our understanding of why we are interacting in a certain manner.  This consciousness might even lead to an apology or a change in behavior in the middle of the interaction.

And what about the answers that we don’t like when we ask the questions?  Why don’t I like this person?  Because they remind me of my 4th grade teacher who was mean to me for a whole year.  Wow!  Wouldn’t that be a revelation?  And the poor person who in the 21st Century had nothing to do with that teacher was suffering because of an unconscious resemblance!

Much of what we do, say, believe comes from our unconscious mind and it can stay unconscious as long as we choose to ignore it or to avoid examining it.  This is not conscious living.

So decide today to start asking yourself ‘Why?’  throughout the day.  Be as relentless as you were when you were two years old.  Ask ‘Why?’ and then ask the ‘Why?’ behind that.  Keep going until you feel your have reached your ‘aha.’  The first answer might not be the most meaningful.  The two-year-old inside you knows to keep going, that there is always another layer to the question and to the answer.

And no fair answering your inner two-year-old with ‘Just because!’


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