Many years ago I shared a weekend retreat with Dr. Bernie Siegel, a cancer surgeon who has pioneered the understanding of the mind/body connection in medicine. It was a very special weekend with a small group of us experiencing amazing personal growth in a loving environment. Bernie Siegel introduced me to the idea that healing a life is more important than curing a disease. He spoke of cancer patients who held the space for broken families to come together and heal their wounds around the person who was sick. After the healing, the person might or might not be cured of their disease. Sometimes it was a couple who had grown angry with each other who found healing when they focused their attention on working together to combat the illness, drawing them into a shared battle that resulted in a new closeness. Sometimes it was siblings who were divided over their parents’ estates and money who found that the sibling love-bond was more important when one of them faced a life-threatening illness.
Bernie had us draw pictures and then helped us to interpret them. He said that, before he did cancer surgery or put a patient into treatment, he would have them draw a picture. If the picture showed a lot of anger or fear, he chose to postpone the surgery until the person worked through that to become accepting of the treatment. He told the story of a patient who was a Quaker who struggled with all the war-talk about treating his cancer: killing cancer cells, the war on cancer, etc. Bernie invited him to re-imagine the chemo treatment in a way that was comfortable to him. The patient drew a picture of helpers gently carrying away the cancer cells and leaving his healthy cells behind. The chemo was very successful after that.
Our minds have the power to change our lives. The man above still had a disease to deal with, but his perspective shifted away from the battle for the cure and onto the path for the healing. The chemo and treatment stayed the same. All that shifted was how he viewed this and how his doctor talked with him about it. Mind talk and outer language.
When I learned the power of mind talk and outer language I became an avid student of Neuro-Linguistic Programming [NLP] and Hypnosis. How powerful these tools are in helping people!
And so, as you might know, we recently faced the possibility of losing our house in Colorado Springs to the Waldo Canyon Wildfire. The fire raged and then swept over a ridge toward our house. The entire area had been evacuated in anticipation of the danger but we were already staying with our daughter 2000 miles away, awaiting the sale of that same house. We watched in horror as we saw flames engulfing the hill upon which our house stood, not knowing what would be the outcome.
Many people supported us with their good thoughts and prayers. Some said, ‘We pray that your house is still standing after this.’ But we were praying for something different. We prayed that whatever happened would be in our highest good. We knew that, whether the house stood or did not withstand the flames, there is a plan and the plan is working out as it should. We knew, too, that we would learn and grow from whatever that experience proved to be.
I won’t lie and say that this has not been an emotional time, but, in the midst of the distress, we let go of the personal items that were in the house, possibly burned. We let go of our attachment to that beautiful house and accepted its fate, whatever that was. Most of our distress was in the ‘not knowing’ and in the worry over the other residents and the firefighters who were valiantly attempting to save our house and others.
The house is fine. It stands intact. Our friend was able to inspect it for us and to report that it is ‘as if nothing happened.’ Our entire block is still standing, with the loss of 1 deck the only damage that we know of on the block. Others very nearby were not so fortunate.
We are now planning to rent our furnished house to neighbors who need to rebuild after their house was destroyed by the fire. It is an amazing consciousness to realize that perhaps our house had not sold yet so that it could be standing and available as housing for others. No one was hurt in it or saving it from the flames.
If we had prayed for the house to withstand the fire, we would have been praying for the cure. Instead, we focused on accepting whatever the outcome might be, so that we might grow through the experience. We prayed for healing.
We have grown. And we now have the opportunity to use the house that still stands to assist another family through their healing.
Which will you seek in the situations of your life? Healing or Curing the Disease?

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MUSE-INGS: Choose What to See
July 25, 2012 — RosemaryIt seems to come up all the time. Choose how you feel. Access the ‘feeling state of joy.’ Stiff upper lip and all that. Feel better.
I’ve heard people tell someone who has lost a loved one, ‘When are you going to move on?’ as though that grief is supposed to be done on someone else’s time table.
You might be reading this ezine thinking, ‘Well, that’s all right for others but my life really sucks right now and so I can’t choose to feel anything different.’
But you CAN.
This is the great truth. It’s okay to feel what you feel when something in life brings you pain. AND it’s okay to imagine that you can have something different as a choice.
Just because you are in a situation at the present moment doesn’t mean that you have to stay there forever. And just because you are in certain circumstances does not mean that your every thought has to be focused on those circumstances. Why not give yourself a breather?
Right now. No matter what is going on. Take a moment to go into peripheral vision and access more resources. Choose a point on the opposite wall that is up above you and tighten your vision until you are totally focused on that point. Really tighten up your focus. Now, keeping you eyes on that point, relax the muscles around your eyes and expand your awareness to the sides of that point, to the sides of the room, while keeping your eyes on the point. Relax. You can extend your awareness to incorporate much of the space around you while still looking at the original point of focus. You are taking in much more information that you were when you were tightly focused.
The Hawaiians call this ‘hakalau,’ a meditation form that the kahunas use. It brings into awareness what is in the peripheral vision and is very useful when driving or walking through a crowded mall. It also has an effect on your nervous system. You cannot do ‘fight or flight’ when you are in peripheral vision.
Think about this the next time you believe you have no other choices. Are you focused so tightly on one point that you are in tunnel vision and can’t see the forest for the tree? Go into peripheral vision. Take a moment and give yourself the experience of hakalau. What comes into your awareness that you hadn’t seen before? What other choices are around you?
And if you can’t see another choice, make one up! Your Unconscious Mind is trusting you to give it good data. Why ask it to store away images of what you don’t want? Your Unconscious Mind isn’t judging anything as good or bad, it just takes what you give it and saves it for you.
Maybe today is the day to make the choice to give your Unconscious Mind some fabulous images to store in your very own My Ideal Day TV Show! Think of it as your mental DVR saving the shows you want to replay whenever you choose.
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