Hostage Situation – Inside Yourself? – Richard’s Commentary

I can certainly relate to Rosemary’s Exploration this week. And it’s not any one or big fear that holds me back from “living my richest life.” It’s usually little things. And when I move beyond the fear and look back I think: “what was I ever afraid of?”

Most of my little fears come from my childhood. I was an only child for a long time – my next brother came along when I was already eight. I was protected and even revered within my extend and large family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. And because family was always there I didn’t have to venture out much into greater society.

So, when Rosemary asks: What part of you is holding another part hostage? I can usually point to my inner child – that protected and easy living six year-old.

Rosemary is exactly right when she says:

But most of the fears that I see with clients represent a conflict between a part that wants to step forward and a part that is afraid to do that.

It can be around any issue: a relationship, a job, money, family, taking a risk, making a decision. There is a feeling of wanting to move and yet, at the same time, a sense of paralysis.

My adult self always wants to step forward; I am usually energetic, decisive and know what I want. But sometimes that six year-old digs in his heals and sets up a block out of some weird sense of protectiveness.

Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever feel paralysis as you work toward an important goal? When this happens to me I usually have to go inside to work through the issue. Sometimes I even have a talk with the six year-old to calm any fears he may be experiencing. I remind him of several factors in the situation:

  1. I am in charge and I know what I am doing; I’m the adult, after all!
  2. We have done things like this before and it always comes out well!
  3. Look to the end result, the success. Doesn’t that make you happy?
  4. Let’s just move forward and see what happens; you’ll be OK.

This inner dialogue can take several forms: meditation, writing, even sometimes a shamanic journey (for me this is similar to an inner guided meditation) to visit my places of safety and my power animals. I can even take my six year-old into the future to see the positive outcome and allay any further fear.

Of course using a coach or counselor is always an option. Inner child work can be very powerful and productive. The tools and help are there for all of us to “live our richest lives!”

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ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: What Are You Holding Back in Yourself?

My “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: What Are You Holding Back in Yourself?

ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Hostage Situation – Inside Yourself?

What part of you is holding another part hostage?

If that question is hard to answer, then try this one: What is Fear keeping you from doing in your life?

We have so many fears, many of them unconscious, and they can cripple our progress through life. Sometimes it is a fear of public speaking (have you heard that this is often greater than the fear of death?) or it might be a fear of spiders. Some have a fear of flying that keeps them from enjoying vacations to distant lands.

But most of the fears that I see with clients represent a conflict between a part that wants to step forward and a part that is afraid to do that.

It can be around any issue: a relationship, a job, money, family, taking a risk, making a decision. There is a feeling of wanting to move and yet, at the same time, a sense of paralysis.

Have you ever felt this way? Perhaps you are feeling this today around something that is going on in your life.

What have you thought about doing that you are not doing YET? What has been hanging around waiting for the perfect time for you to commit to it? Where do you want to go in your life that you have been afraid to move toward?

There is always some fear lurking in the issue when we feel torn about a decision or making a move in a certain direction. Sometimes the fear is that we don’t know what to do next. It might be a fear that we’ll make the wrong decision or choice and there will be consequences.

The part inside of you that is holding you hostage to a fear may not be revealing the exact nature of that fear to you. Often a client will come to me with one issue and the REAL issue is something behind the one they can see.

I spent a VIP Day with a client once who wanted to plan out her business and marketing as we discussed in her preparatory session. She came with calendars and plans in hand. What happened during our hours together, though, showed why she had been unable to get those plans organized.

There were family issues to be resolved before her unconscious mind would allow her to leap forward in her business. We spent most of the time working through the blocks and fears that had been lurking behind her indecisiveness.

After the work of clearing those blocks and fears, we sailed through the business part of the planning!

That is the power of CLEARING THE FEAR! When a part of you is being held hostage by a fearful part, you must learn what the fear is and how to satisfy the part that holds the fear BEFORE you can take the next step in whatever area of your life where you feel stuck.

How are you holding yourself back in your life? Have you identified the fear?

Move the fear out of the way so that you can move freely toward the life you desire!

ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Be Your Real Self!

My “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: Be Your Real Self!

ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: You Are Not Your Stories

How many times have you heard yourself repeating a story about something that happened to you, or that you learned about yourself as a child, or that some parent or teacher convinced you was true and, yet, inside, there was a niggling doubt that that story is still true about you today?

Or maybe you keep telling that story without even realizing that it belongs to the past and no longer holds any truth for the you who is showing up in your life today?

It is so easy to ‘story ourselves’ into our victimhood and we hide behind our stories until it becomes difficult to find the real person behind the mask of story.

Years ago (okay, decades ago) I sold cosmetics at home parties part time (yes, your guess is right about which one!) and I had a woman attend her neighbor’s party to try out the new cosmetics. She came in wearing orangey makeup over deep pockmarks and sat at the table with the others to follow the program, removing her makeup and trying on what I was offering. After hearing her friends around the table exclaim over her new look and how great she looked, she requested some additional cleanser, got out her bag and reapplied her orangey stuff before she walked out the door to cross the street to her home.

The hostess was embarrassed and apologetic but I assured her that it was okay with me. Each of us needs to feel comfortable about the way we show up in the world. This woman needed that mask before she could even walk across the street to go home. She ignored her friends compliments and went behind the familiar mask, even though the new cosmetics were more flattering.

How easy it is to wear what’s familiar, even if it’s not the best for us? We sometimes find comfort in the familiar when it is painful just because we don’t want to move into new energy.

What is your security blanket? What mask do you wear that keeps you hiding from your beautiful real self because it is familiar and comfortable, even if your real self is more beautiful?

Uncovering the real self behind the mask is the work of personal growth. The transformations can be amazing! And it means letting go of the old masks, the old stories that we hide behind before we can shine the light of our real self out into the world.

I have a problem with some of the support groups out there that have you staying the victim of your story by repeating it over and over again. Your story is A story. It does not define WHO YOU REALLY ARE. The only reason to tell a story is to show how you’ve grown beyond it so that you can help someone else experience the same growth.

Listen to yourself and your chatter. Notice that your stories might be repeatedly keeping you the victim instead of being stories of empowerment. Notice that you might be hiding your inner light behind a mask that you can shed now.

You are not your stories. Let the light of the real you shine into the world without a mask!

Exploring the Field of All Possibilities – Richard’s Commentary

Rosemary’s exploration this week is a great lead-in to her Possibilities Playshop scheduled for this Saturday. It is not only the Playshop but the Playbook, the product of the Playshop, that is an amazing tool to help with “exploring the field of all possibilities.” Let me explain:

During Rosemary’s Playshop we play at several activities designed specifically to get us out of our heads, out of the problem space, so we can move into the field of possibilities where solutions lie. And one of the first steps is to clear the way to get there, clear the limiting beliefs that tend to hold us in “tunnel vision.”

Here’s how Rosemary describes the “problem”:

This is the way that we can hold ourselves back from showing our greatness to the world. Tunnel vision is the very block that prevents us from seeing the possibilities that are in front of us because our focus is so narrowed. And we feel as if there is no roadmap out of our situation.

We do this clearing, opening up beyond the tunnel vision, through visualizations. This is necessary to begin to believe that there may actually BE a “roadmap” to the field.

Once we clear the old beliefs, a process to re-vision the problems and re-create a new vision forward, we are then in a great space to create the roadmap. And this is no ordinary roadmap, but one created and guided by our intuition. This is where the “play” begins in earnest.

Briefly, we pull pictures and words from old magazines, images and phrases that appeal to us. We do this fast without much thought about why they appeal. This is somewhat similar to creating vision boards (have you ever done one of those?) but with less intention, suspending the rational left-brain activity and relying on our child-like unconscious minds to direct the play.

Pictures are put in an envelope, words in another; pictures can even be sorted by size and put in different envelopes. Then the “roadmap” or Playbook is created by pulling pictures and words blindly from the envelopes for each of the months going forward. We actually align our calendars with the phases of the moon to bring an even deeper intuitive, feminine connection to the Playbook.

The resulting Playbook is an intuitively created “solution space” to use as a guide for the months/year ahead. The pictures and words can be interpreted as the moon cycles through her phases. I frequently consult my Playbook for a number of reasons, including when I am stuck or catch myself in tunnel vision.

I use my Playbook as a journal to record events. It is always curious to review the pictures and words I chose months ago to see how they inform my current situation. I also record my I Ching Gua that I cast at each new moon; there is always an alignment with the reading and my Playbook entries for that moon!

The point here is not to “sell” you on the power of Rosemary’s Possibilities Playshop event but to suggest there are tools you can use to move easily, even with a lot of fun, from tunnel vision around a problem to a new vision of expanded possibilities where solutions live. Inner work, access to our intuitive powers, even play serves to offer a way forward!

And remember, problems are lessons waiting to be learned in the field of all possibilities!

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ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Exploring the Field of All Possibilities

When we feel stuck in our progress, whether it be on a specific project or task or we are stuck in a bigger way, not knowing our purpose in life or not knowing how to shift or eliminate a particular situation or relationship, we tend to drop into a sort of tunnel vision about it.

Have you ever found yourself thinking only of your problem? Nothing else seems to get onto your radar screen. Solutions seem ‘out of sight’ and, maybe, not even available at all. There’s nothing beyond what you can see.

This is the way that we can hold ourselves back from showing our greatness to the world. Tunnel vision is the very block that prevents us from seeing the possibilities that are in front of us because our focus is so narrowed. And we feel as if there is no roadmap out of our situation.

We often get stuck in tunnel vision because our belief structure, at the unconscious level, restricts us from moving into the exploratory experience of curiosity about what else might be possible. We know what our problems are and we keep looking at them as if they will suddenly jump up and tell us how to solve them. If only that were true!

What we must learn to do instead is to seek the solutions beyond the point where the problem lies.

When I worked on the Hubble Space Telescope some of the astronomers decided to point the telescope at dark places in the sky that looked empty when viewed through earth-based telescopes. No one knew if there would be anything there since nothing had ever been seen in that particular area before.

What emerged were huge fields of never-before-seen stars and galaxies! What had looked empty for all the years of humans looking at the sky from Earth were now filled with exciting stars and galaxies and other celestial presences. How exciting it was!

Where is the parallel to this in your life? What have you been looking at through your ‘old eyes,’ that is, through the lens of your old beliefs? Do you wonder if there is anything that you haven’t seen yet? Do you hope that there IS something there?

This is the pursuit of solutions that can lead you to exploring the field of all possibilities. When you tie yourself to what is known already, you limit your own field of view to see just what you expect to see. When, however, you open yourself, with curiosity, to whatever might be waiting for you, ALL possibilities can reveal themselves to you!

Examine the beliefs, those inner decisions that reside at the unconscious level, that might be holding you hostage and limiting you to tunnel vision. Discard and clear those limiting beliefs.

Then turn yourself toward an exploration of what might be there, waiting just beyond what you can see. There are always possibilities beyond the one you see with tunnel vision.

How exciting this exploration can be!