Humans are social beings. It is all about relationships. Last week I wrote about our interdependence with others, what Thich Nhat Hahn calls “interbeing.” We are especially dependent on and interdependent with other humans. Here’s what Rosemary says about that:
Human beings are relationship experts. We are constantly adjusting relationships, in one direction or another. Relationships with significant others, with parents and with children, with co-workers, clients, neighbors, hairdressers, waitstaff at the local restaurant, checker at the grocery store. Every interaction with another human being is an element of a relationship.
And every relationship begins on the inside of ourselves. This is why it is so important to have that relationship in the first place! Do you have a good relationship with yourself?
In her post Rosemary writes about choices we have and we make moment to moment. The first choice is to have that inner relationship. How do you do that? It’s as easy as breathing! And we all need to do that!
The “conscious relationship with self” begins with conscious breathing. That’s right, bring your consciousness to your breathing pattern. Don’t try to change it or make an effort, just bring your attention to how your breath feels; think about the inhale; feel it as it comes in through your nose, down your throat, into your lungs. Where does it go there? Does it fill up your chest? Does it go down into your belly? Just notice. And on the exhale, how does that feel? What happens first? How much air do you exhale?
Shifting just our focus on our breath, with no change at all in rhythm or style, changes our body chemistry and our mental awareness! Imagine what might happen if you actually, consciously begin to control your breathing. Maybe your in-breath goes a bit deeper and is longer; maybe you hold it for just a moment as you sense it, notice the feeling of expansion. Then as you exhale maybe you do this more slowly, deliberately. And maybe you expel more air, even flattening your belly, back towards your spine as you push out more air – to make room for a bigger in-breath.
And you can continue in this manner, watching your breath, taking longer, deeper, slower breaths. This is the beginning of a relationship with yourself, your deeper self.
I’m not writing here to teach meditation. But I am echoing Rosemary’s intention that your best relationship is with yourself, inside. Here’s what she says about you:
Who you are, deep in your core, is a beautiful being of Light. Who you are, inside, is a spark of divine energy. Who you are, in the essence of you, is a person of access to great wisdom and love. THIS is the person that you really want to show up in every relationship, isn’t it?
I would like to have a relationship with this being of Light – you! Wouldn’t you?
Mystic Messages 
Who is Your WHO? – Richard’s Commentary
May 21, 2014 — RichardRosemary’s question this week is:
WHO is it that you are serving?
My first reaction to this question is to think about my Qigong students; they are my clients and I do feel that I am serving them when we are in class together, when I am leading them through a form, focusing on breath, gathering and storing Qi for health, well-being, and peace. The beauty of my “who” is I am serving myself as well. I am doing the research into Taoism, the basis for the effectiveness of Qigong. I am going through the form with my students, leading myself to health, well-being and peace. And I am working with the forms on my own as well, practicing the forms every day. I continue my research and reading on the subject to go deeper so I can take my students deeper.
In response to Rosemary’s statement:
If you don’t take care of your own health, no one else can do it. You know this. You accept this. But what about your spiritual and psychological health? Your emotional health? Your mental health? Are you serving yourself by taking care of yourself in those areas?
I can feel pretty good, right? Qigong covers all these aspects of my life. Qigong contributes to my health. And the study of Taoism supports my spiritual and psychological health. Reflection on the Five Elements, the basis for Traditional Chinese Medicine, helps me work through my emotional and mental issues. Through all these levels I am serving my students and I am serving myself at the same time!
If only it were that simple!
Everything I’ve written above is true. And Qigong does help my students and me work through issues. But what about others I serve?
What about Rosemary? She is my client as well. I support her business, TheScientificMystic.com, through managing the technology to operate the business, handling the finances, and helping her with the messaging and marketing of her services. How am I doing with that?
Here I can’t be quite as glib with my answers! Sometimes I grow impatient that Rosemary doesn’t work to my schedule! Whose business is this? Sometimes I get frustrated with the procrastination. But I am a great procrastinator! And too often I get bogged down with the technology rather than focusing on what drives the business – Rosemary’s talent!
So, I need to take Rosemary’s advice here:
My work is to build a relationship in which I support them.
My work with Rosemary is to create the best possible business relationship we can have in order to best serve her, as my client!
And I need to do this analysis for all of my relationships. Everyone is a “client” of everyone else. It is important to nurture client relationships and it is vital to nurture all of our inter-relationships.
Who are your clients? Are you nurturing them? Are you nurturing every relationship with others as if they were your client? Are you nurturing the relationship with yourself?
What a world it would be if this were the case!