We’re getting down to the nitty gritty here and I hope you’ll seriously consider what’s in this article. How do you decide which activities will receive your attention today? What values are you using to allocate your precious hours today, the hours that you will never be able to recapture after they have been spent?
This is where living a conscious life meets living the hectic 21st Century busyness that seduces us all into thinking that things have to be the way they are.
You have 24 hours in each day. Your human body requires 7-9 hours of sleep – good, peaceful, restful, restorative sleep. The rest of your hours are yours to spend as you choose.
‘Wait!’ you say. ‘I have to go to work, get the kids off to school, teach my class, meet with my clients, go to the grocery store, and ______________ [fill in the blank]! I don’t have control over those hours!’
To which I answer, ‘Yes. You do.’
Every moment of every day we are at choice as to how we will spend that moment. You choose to work at that particular job. The kids might be able to get themselves off to school or a nanny could do it. You scheduled your class or your clients. Groceries can be delivered or a personal assistant or a spouse can do the shopping. And so the choices go. You might think that you can’t afford things but you can afford certain things because you choose them.
I’m not being simplistic here. We all make choices and ‘I can’t afford it’ really translates to ‘I choose to spend my money elsewhere’ or, even, ‘I CHOSE to spend my money elsewhere and now I have to pay the bills.’ Still, it is all based on choice.
So knowing that you choose how to spend your time, how can you make sure that you are choosing according to your values?
First, you must know what your values are and you must know them in priority order. I frequently see a client who feels conflicted and the answer to clarity lies in examining the values that are bumping into each other. Here are two questions to ask yourself:
Who do I really want to spend time with today?
AND What is the most fulfilling activity that I can put on my calendar today?
If the answers match the schedule, good for you! And if not, then ask yourself, Why not?
You have the power to make choices about how you spend the precious hours you have each day. Are you LIVING your life or are you SPENDING your life?
Choose to schedule your day based on what is important to you, what really matters. Don’t let anyone else control your schedule. If your boss wants you to be in a meeting at a certain time, then, by all means, attend the meeting. But instead of spending emotional capital resenting it, accept that you choose to remain in this job [even if it feels as if you have no choice to remain in this job. You could choose to quit and maybe live on the street so you might be making the right choice for the moment!] If your family is making a demand on your time that causes you to resent saying ‘yes’ then say ‘no.’ And release feeling guilty about it!
Notice how often you make choices that don’t feel right to you. Making the choice to take an injured kid to the ER feels right, doesn’t it? Making the choice to escape into TV when there might be something else you could do might be escaping your life instead of living it. AND watching TV might be your active choice to relax and rest your mind for a bit, so release the feeling of guilt about making that choice!
CHOOSE. Match your schedule to your values. Raise your consciousness about your moments and you’ll feel happier!
Mystic Messages 
Is Your Life Reflecting Your Values? — Richard’s Commentary
January 31, 2013 — RichardRosemary always asks these pointed and difficult questions! Yes, I know they are good for me to reflect on, to answer, truthfully, for myself. And I actually thought this one would be reasonably easy for me to reply to and write this commentary. Then I took a second look!
A couple of years ago I did an exercise to clarify my values, to align them with my thinking, my philosophy. I made a list and prioritized it. I took a deep dive into this analysis, writing at length about these values I had come up with, what they mean to me and how I live by them. At the end of much thought I distilled the set of values down to two key ones: Practice and Love. In fact I even drew a diagram, a schematic to relate these two primal values: Practice –> Love.
No, this doesn’t mean my practices lead to love and it doesn’t mean if I practice well enough I will learn love. Maybe these meanings are overlays here, but these are two distinct values for me. I truly value that I am able to practice my various approaches to live a conscious life. Meditation, yoga, qigong, pages, poetry, … and any other consciousness raising practice that comes along that has potential for me is a key value. And how much more can I say about Love? Self, family, friends, community, humanity, life, Planet Earth, Nature, food, wine, beer making, wow…so much to love in life! And, clearly there is a relationship between practice and love. I love my practices. My practices help me better understand this whole sense of Love. Love improves my practices. It is complex and I can’t say that I even fully understand it when I write, and I often do: Practice –> Love.
But Rosemary’s question goes deeper here. Yes, she asks us to review our values, but more importantly to review our lives as they reflect those values we reaffirm! This is the key analysis, the driving question.
And I’ve spent the last several days, as part of our retreat weekend, reviewing and refining my answer. My answer initially is “no.” Oh sure, I’m doing a lot of practice, and I’m pleased with this. I also love: I am partnered with the love of my life. I am part of a loving family. My kids really do love me (at least they’ve done an awesome job of showing it!). But there’s a deeper level here I am reaching toward.
My exploration begins with the word “unconditional.” This is the quality of Love I’m reaching to attain. And this would then truly be the goal of Practice –> Love, my core values. I am not practicing unconditional love at every opportunity and therefore, my life is not reflecting this value.
That said I am working on it. This is my new level of Practice I’m striving to achieve. I suspect it is a life-long pursuit! But I have begun. Last evening, after Rosemary and I had returned from our retreat, our daughter stated, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, that she had been craving pancakes for breakfast and would I please get up to make her some next morning! Hmmm, on Wednesdays she leaves for work at 7:15; hey, I’m retired, and while I am working harder than ever before and enjoying it a whole lot more, my hours don’t include 7:15 am! I did not commit! But this morning I was awake at 6:30, wanting more sleep. I debated with myself for about 30 seconds, and then asked “what would I do if I held the value of unconditional love? Yeah, you guessed it; I got up and fixed daughter and two grandsons pancakes (two different kinds). And the surprise and smiles were well worth the few extra winks!
With this good experience as a launch point I have been challenging myself to come from unconditional love all day. I’ve failed multiple times! I had several errands to run which meant driving and encountering other drivers; always a stumbling block for me to keep my cool while driving, but at least I continued to pull myself back to my core value. I’m practicing!
How are you practicing your values this year?