We Are Family – Richard’s Commentary

July 23, 2014 — Richard

I want to begin my comments with Rosemary’s ending to her Exploration:

This is important 21st Century work for each human being. Love yourself. Be Who You REALLY Are. Be the Light. Write your own story.

…and create your family; “we are family”! This is a lesson I have learned and continue to learn from Rosemary. It started over 30 years ago (we celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary yesterday!). We came together with kids; Rosemary had a daughter and I had two sons. From the very beginning we made a conscious choice, and from then on a conscious and valiant effort, to blend and create a “nuclear” family of the five of us. And it worked. Today our 30-something kids could not be closer if they were blood-related. We are family!

And we each have our extended families. I met Rosemary’s at her sister’s wedding. The vibe is dominated by Italian ancestry; my Norwegian/Swiss (northern) ancestry was welcomed in with open arms and big hugs. My cold northern blood melted right in to this southern love. Meanwhile my family remains pretty much in tact in Wisconsin – that Norwegian blood just likes it cold! I love them, visit (in the summer/fall) now and then. We are family!

And then we have our ultra-extended family that spans the globe from here north into Canada, east to Europe, south to Australia, west to China. We have grandchildren here in Maryland, another on the way in California. And then there are our adopted grandchildren/god-children spread all over from England to Florida and far beyond. Our younger friends with children just seem to know: we are family! (Of course, the children know it immediatedly!)

We are about to begin a fun trip to Florida for a work-related conference in Orlando next week. On the way (we are driving) we will stop in Raleigh, NC to visit with our youngest child, catching up with that part of the nuclear family and his delightful girl friend. Then it is on to Brunswick, GA to visit long-term, but not seen in years, friends; and even though there is a serious back injury in the picture here, we are compelled to spend the night – “you are family.” Then it is on to Tampa to visit more friends and one of our adopted grand/god-children. After the Orlando conference it is on to Amrit Ashram to visit a nephew and Gurudev. We are family!

And my story goes on. It is still unfolding. We have more family members to meet; they are out there waiting for us. As Rosemary says:

…write a NEW story! You have permission. You are Lady or Lord Creator of Your Own Truth! Love yourself enough to be the creator of a fine life story. Be the ancestor of a legacy that makes you proud and smiling today.

Be the love. Be the light. Go meet your family; they are out there waiting for you! Be the ancestor of a legacy! And remember:

We are family!

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ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: We Are Family

July 18, 2014 — Rosemary

The word ‘family’ can be a real emotional trigger for some people. I’ve worked with coaching clients who had beliefs about themselves that were limiting their success because they had heard stories or even made up stories about their families and they accepted those stories as unchangeable.

You can change the stories you hold in your head. You can change the stories about your family and its members. You can write your own story. You can create your own loving, accepting, supportive family – TODAY!!!

Whether you believe me about this or not, it is true. I can hear the alarms going off and trying to convince you that the story you believe is the absolute Truth, with a capital ‘T,’ and that you can’t change the Truth.

What if the story contains some FACTS but it no longer has to be your TRUTH, about you, about life, about anything?

I now dub you ‘Lady’ or ‘Lord’ ‘Creator of Your Own Truth’! From this day forward you are the creator of the beliefs that you hold, no matter what the ‘facts’ of your past might have led you to believe. You are the one who decides on the members of your ‘family.’ You create the stories that you want to live.

The facts of your childhood might seem to lead to certain conclusions but children rarely hold all the information available during those younger years. You might have formed opinions about situations you experienced or family members and somewhere in your unconscious mind you believe that you know ‘Truth’ when, just possibly, you don’t.

Guess what? That story belongs in the past. You can write your own story now, today, and it can be a different one. You are Lord or Lady Creator of Your Own Truth! You decide what you will believe. You choose which thoughts you will energize by your focusing on them. You can even choose the people that you will invite into your ‘family.’

Before you were born you chose the human DNA that you would need to get to the lessons for this lifetime. That means that you chose a mother and a father and some other family members whose job it was to help you to learn your lessons and to grow. For some, it was less painful than for others. For some, it is still painful to be associated with family members who are connected through the bloodlines.

Others have graduated from those birth families and have collected around them people whom they can trust, who love them, who support them and accept them, no matter what. This is the meaning of ‘family’ now.

If you are living far away from family that you love, you can create a group that gets together for holidays, does things together, shares experiences, helps out and supports, loves unconditionally. You can do this even if you live down the street from blood-relatives who are toxic to you. You can choose your family now.

When we feel obligations that are burdensome or that hurt our hearts and souls, we can choose to move away from that family. It might seem difficult, but it can be the most liberating choice you ever make. Feeling ‘stuck’ with a family is often the result of being ‘stuck in our story.’

What is the story that you find yourself telling over and over again? Have you allowed a story from the past to creep into the position of defining you? Are you ‘stuck in your story’?

Then write a NEW story! You have permission. You are Lady or Lord Creator of Your Own Truth! Love yourself enough to be the creator of a fine life story. Be the ancestor of a legacy that makes you proud and smiling today.

This is important 21st Century work for each human being. Love yourself. Be Who You REALLY Are. Be the Light. Write your own story.

I bow to you, Oh, Lord or Lady Creator of Your Own Truth! Huzzah!

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INSPIRATION FROM ROSEMARY: Whose Story Are You Telling?

May 14, 2013 — Rosemary

My video for the week: Whose Story Are You Telling?

PS: Here is a fun way to find out who might be renting space in your brain: join me for a Conversation with The Other Side. Next Monday, May 20, at 7:00 pm I am offering an online Conversation where we talk to anyone from your past who has crossed over whose story you may be holding on to. Get more information and registration  details at TheScientificMystic.com

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The Story is Not the Person! – Richard’s Commentary

April 18, 2013 — Richard

“The story is not the person.” And often the story is not the story, at least not the whole story. I think that is one of Rosemary’s points.

I had the great privilege over a number of years to “sit at the feet” of Robert Bly. One of his “lessons” was to examine a story or poem on at least three levels: the concrete, the psychological and the mythical. And even then large swaths of a story can be glossed over or missed entirely.

At the concrete level, the story is never the person. You can’t know much at all from this level. It is superficial at best. To use a well worn cliché it’s like judging a story-book by its cover. I am a great fan of science fiction; I can never guess what a book is about from looking at the typically lurid cover! These days you certainly can’t judge anything from clothes. Styles are all over the map and casual is becoming formal in many venues! For those who are well trained and experienced in sensory acuity there are deeper layers to the concrete level that can be observed. Milton Erickson pioneered the use of body language in his hypnotherapy work and could utilize a subtle movement, twitch or flush to take a patient into deeper trance. And this brings us to the psychological level of the story.

Rosemary’s point that “the story is not the person” is much about this psychological level, the back-story, the underlying elements to a person that are buried behind the external persona. Sometimes this deeper part of the story is hidden even from one’s self. Our layers of beliefs for example are not necessarily something we dwell on to determine our current motivations or reactions to situations. It is this psychological level that gets protected, especially the shadow components of our makeup…and we all have them. Our boundaries protect this area and need that respect Rosemary urges us to observe.

And it is this level that we need to take into consideration when interacting with people. We all have our psychological stories. Some we can feel free and even good about sharing. Some remain hidden, protected behind our walls of privacy. The point here is to realize every one of our encounters with a person involves a hidden layer that needs our understanding and respect. We have our boundaries and they have theirs; let the unrevealed layers be a part of the mystery of the encounter.

It is at the mythic layer to the story where we can have some fun. And I don’t mean to make fun but to be inventive, creative in our approach to interacting with others. At some level we humans are all archetypes; we embody all the mythical gods and goddesses, the legendary figures from history, the stories of golden ages with mythic heroes and heroines from pre-history. Bly’s approach to analyze a poem or a story at the mythic level is to look for the archetypal, the over-arching theme that holds deeper meaning beyond the superficial and even the mental levels; the god-like meanings that underpin the entire arch of the story. And we can apply this approach to our encounter with others. Ask, what part of the greater mythology of human existence is this person playing, in his life, in my life, in the greater context of human evolution!

That’s right! Every one of us is playing a role, our personally designed role, in the expanding story of human evolution, the evolution of consciousness! This is exciting, scary, sobering, even mind-boggling. And it’s true.

So, next time when you meet someone, a friend, an acquaintance, even a stranger, ask yourself what role that someone is playing in the unfolding mythology of humanity!

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ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: The Story is Not the Person!

April 17, 2013 — Rosemary

Everyone around you has a story and you have only heard the part of the story that they want you to hear.  Everyone has a part of themselves that is hidden away, being protected, staying safe by not being revealed.  Behavior is not the story.  Behavior is often the cover-up for the story.

When you understand this about the people around you it is easier to be gentle with those folks.  What if that person just lost a loved one and doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that with you?  What if that person was so horribly abused as a child that they cannot bear to be hugged by anyone because it re-traumatizes them?  What if that person just got off the phone from a very disturbing conversation and they are in the middle of processing the information when you try to talk to them?

There is an endless list of possibilities for what is going on in another person’s life and most items on that list have nothing to do with you.  Do you keep this in mind when you interact with other people?  Can you be sympathetic to the part of the story that they are protecting from exposure and give them the benefit of the doubt?

Each of us has a responsibility to ourselves and to others to learn how to live in community with the people around us.  We are not private islands with ‘No Trespassing’ signs on our foreheads!  The most important lesson to learn about living in a civilized society is to learn what healthy boundaries are.  Learn what to let in and what belongs to the other person.

Asking others to respect your boundaries includes allowing them to ask the same of you.  Some people have very private stories behind the fence of their boundary and that is theirs to protect.  By the same token, you are allowed to hold parts of yourself private from public scrutiny and anyone who doesn’t respect that boundary does not get the privilege of interacting with you.

In learning how to interact with others in a healthy way it is important that you know your own story.  What motivates you?  What has happened in your past that is influencing your present?  What parts of you have you disowned that are lurking in your shadow bag waiting to be rediscovered and reintegrated?  With whom have you had an interaction that might influence your current relationships with baggage from the past connection?

Study your story.  Write it out.  Do a timeline of your own life.  It can be useful to do a timeline of your parents’ lives as you know them, or as they can share with you, and compare that with your own.  Sometimes we can uncover hidden beliefs about ourselves by noticing what has moved onto our timeline from our parents.

Notice when you get stuck in your story instead of continuing to create it.  Are you in a loop that has you repeating a part of your past story that is holding you back from growing in the present?  Are you re-traumatizing yourself by repeating that story over and over again and never giving yourself a chance to open to new possibilities that allow you to release that old story?

What parts of your story are you hoping no one else will discover?  Why?

Part of being on the path of personal growth is expanding your consciousness to encompass ALL of who you are.  Every part of your story is important in shaping you to be the person that you are today.  And this is true for everyone around you.

Own your story but do not be governed by it.  Be conscious of your responsibility to continue to grow.  Help others to grow by allowing them to have their own stories while keeping healthy boundaries for yourself.

And you can change your story!  There are many techniques available to help you to do this.  Empower yourself by taking the first step – write your story.  Then the work can begin.

PS:  Spring Book Special: Get Your Woman On!  Embracing Beauty, Grace and the Power of Women – The Amazon Best Selling book that I co-authored with some amazing women – is available this month at a very special price – $12 with free shipping in the US and some great bonuses!  This would be an inspirational gift for Mother’s Day for a woman who would like to read 39 stories of transformation.  Here’s how to get your copy: Book Sale

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INSPIRATION FROM ROSEMARY: What’s Your Story?

April 16, 2013 — Rosemary

Here’s my video for the week: “What’s Your Story?”

PS: Book sale! Spring Book Special: Get Your Woman On!  Embracing Beauty, Grace and the Power of Women – The Amazon Best Selling book that I co-authored with some amazing women – is available this month at a very special price – $12 with free shipping in the US and some great bonuses!  This would be an inspirational gift for Mother’s Day for a woman who would like to read 39 stories of transformation.  Here’s how to get your copy: Book Sale

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VIDEO MYSTIC MESSAGE: “The Stories We Tell Ourselves”

December 11, 2012 — Rosemary

 

PS:  Please join us tomorrow as we meditate and activate the energy through this special day and time: Wednesday, 12/12/12 at 12:00 PM Eastern time. There is no registration for this, just dial in and be there with us!

The number to call is: 1-218-862-1300, and the code to enter is: 143201

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MUSE-INGS: Fill Your Coping Toolbox & Write Your Story

October 3, 2012 — Rosemary

The fairy tale of today. What a way to look at the start of every day!

‘Once upon a time…’ conjures up stories of princesses and fairies and wicked witches and rescuing princes. Can I really write one for myself today?

The real truth is that we ARE writing this story every day, whether we know it consciously or not. How empowering it is to realize that we can write our way out of sticky situations as the author of our own fairy tale!

This does not mean that every day happens like a Disney movie, but, if you notice, the Disney movies do all have a dark moment, a character who tries to block the hero and heroine from having that ‘happy ever after’ ending. But, in the end, we are left feeling good about what will happen next.

This past weekend we had a harrowing experience when our daughter was struggling for breath and 911 had to be called. Thankfully, she is on a healing path now (after an ambulance ride and 8 hours in the emergency room) and the doctors feel they can control what is going on. But the moments could have been tragic.

My first reaction was not to panic, but to go to my hidden helpers in other dimensions: The Divine Feminine, Reiki Masters, Spirit Doctors. I asked them to heal her and surrendered the situation to them. I felt a huge sense of calm after this, which all happened in less than a minute.

This is not to say that the Mom in me wasn’t concerned, but I never lost the calm feeling. I moved into helping others through this moment.

I wrote the story for myself.

This is not something that happens in an instant because you wish you could do this. It takes practice and intention and work to access this state of consciousness. But it does come with the work.

And so, in other areas of life, you, too, can work on developing your consciousness so that the resources you have to call on can support you in the writing of your story. If your only option for a knee-jerk response is to panic, you will be less helpful to yourself and those around you. And the story will get written for you by default.

Take the action to write your own story each and every day. If you procrastinate on doing the personal growth work that allows you to develop new tools, your ability to handle the crises of life is diminished.

A fairy tale life does not mean that nothing happens that is difficult to deal with. Most fairy tales have some life-or-death moments in them, based on the archetypes that are represented. Each day we live in the 21st Century can have a life-or-death moment in it. A life can turn around in an instant and we can be called upon to reach into our coping toolbox to find the most appropriate tool to use. This is when you want that toolbox to be full. This is why it is so important to work on your own personal growth work BEFORE you need these tools.

Identify the beliefs that are blocking you from the life of your dreams. Work on the issues you are unconsciously giving power to influence your life. Take charge of those circumstances that you can change. Shift your thinking about those that you cannot change.

All the power rests within you to write the fairy tale story of your life for today. ‘Once upon a time there was a powerful person who opened their heart to share the Love within with the world around them.’ That’s you! The hero/ine of the story!

PS: Are you subscribed to my Weekly Muse-Letter, a video ezine to inspire, encourage and enlighten with Evolutionary Thought, every week? Click here  to subscribed to  my Tips for Conscious Living. It’s FREE.

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