If you watch a lot of TV, you are being bombarded by messages, from newscasters, from commercials, from people who express opinions that may or may not be based on fact and intellectual analysis. Whatever you read, whether the newspaper or a novel, a non-fiction or a textbook, contains messages that are being absorbed by your psyche and often accepted unconsciously as true for you.
The most insidious messages are being accepted by your unconscious mind because they come from someone you trust, even someone you love and whom you thought loved you. Parents are comparing their children to others with the subtle message that their child is not good enough. Superiors at work are giving out criticisms thinking they are focusing on getting the job done but the employee is hearing, ‘I can’t do anything right.’ Teachers have a pet who gets the best grades and other students think they’re not lovable because they aren’t as academically successful. The list goes on and on. And sometimes the saddest case is when a life partner criticizes or ‘puts down’ their partner, implying, again, that they are not ‘good enough’ or that they are ‘unlovable.’
What messages have you embraced that are not about your inherent goodness but you believe them because someone you trust or trusted in the past told you they were true? How many religious leaders have told their congregations that they are not worthy, not good enough? Have you ever taken the time to examine what you do and do not believe about yourself? Have you ever asked yourself WHY you believe some things that you believe?
Today is the day to start examining your thoughts, your beliefs about yourself and who you really are. You are a person with a big heart. You have a good mind. You are worthy of being treated well, by all those with whom you come into contact. You are lovable, just the way you are today. There is nothing that you need to do to earn anyone else’s love. You can give love to others. You can figure out the solutions you need or you can ask for help, which you deserve to receive. You have always been this way. You have always deserved to be loved, so if Life has given you experiences that contradict this, then examine those experiences and ask yourself if they were about the other person and not about you. [They were.]
That little baby who was you a few years ago is still as lovable as he or she was then. That baby lives within you. If you are resisting these words today, then get in touch with that tiny, innocent baby and love it. Grow that love up to today. Everything you have done or been in the past has helped you to grow into the person you are today. Accept that with gratitude. Every behavior you have exhibited, every choice you have made, has helped you to evolve. If you are feeling stuck, then examine your current situation for the learning that is there. There is ALWAYS something to learn, so if you are stuck it is because you haven’t finished what you need to experience.
Forgive yourself for the choices that you have made. You did the best you could in that moment. Knowing what you know now you might make a different choice, but in that moment you made a choice that brought you lessons, albeit painful ones sometimes. Forgive others. This does not mean that you must believe that what has harmed you is acceptable and it does not mean that you must stay in relationship with people who have or continue to hurt you. But to hold onto anger and unforgiveness harms you without resolving the issue or, indeed, having anything to do with the other person. Forgiving others means deciding that you will no longer give them power over your own Life. You choose now to release whatever strings they have been holding that continue to affect your Life. Let them go to learn their own lessons – then you can be complete with yours.
Learn the lessons and love yourself in the process. Life is really as simple as that!


MUSE-INGS: What is your unconscious mind deciding for you?
August 31, 2010 — RosemaryIt seems as if we’re always being told to examine our thoughts, our beliefs. That’s not as easy as it sounds.
I’ve worked with people who are literally shocked to discover some of the things that they believe. Our unconscious minds are powerful helpers in our journey of personal growth, but with that power comes an ability to derail our best efforts, the decisions we make consciously but without the agreement of our unconscious minds.
Does this sound difficult to believe? Let’s look at how powerful that unconscious mind can be.
You can breathe without thinking about it, right? You don’t go around telling your heart to ‘Beat Now, and Now, and Now,’ do you? Somewhere in your system is a controller taking care of all those systems so you don’t have to make a conscious decision to get your heart to beat or your lungs to expand. So why shouldn’t that ‘controller’ be making other decisions for you? Like how you will respond to a stimulus that is similar to what you experienced when you were 5 or 7 years old? What about that knee-jerk reaction you had? Did you consciously choose that or did it come from somewhere else?
Prejudice comes from training in our youth. In the show, ‘South Pacific,’ they say that you must be carefully taught to hate. But once those seeds of hatred are planted, you might not even know that you believe that someone ‘should be hated.’ Or what about those family stories that plant a seed about who you are supposed to be? ‘Our family always does…….’ [fill in the blank]. There can be some powerful beliefs ingrained in us as children that we don’t even recognize are at work.
And so, as adults, we go along thinking that we are in charge when the truth is that our unconscious minds are holding onto beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and the world that might not be valid anymore. The bogeyman under the bed might not actually be there but the little child within might still be afraid of a strange situation.
How do we use this information in our adult lives? The first place to start is to examine what we believe. In every situation, the question to ask is, ‘Is what I believe about this situation true?’ When we are responding to a particular stimulus, we can ask ourselves if the response is appropriate in this moment or is our unconscious mind adding on some data from previous experiences that might not apply right now. This ability to ask questions of ourselves is the first step to living a conscious life.
And we must question what comes at us and to us from outside sources. If you are told something that doesn’t feel right, pause and ask yourself what it is exactly that you are feeling. What, within yourself, is not resonating with this information? Or what IS resonating with this information, and can you believe something new or contrary to what you believed before?
These questions only help us if we have already started to examine ourselves. Being on a path of personal growth invites us to become aware in every moment of our own thoughts and beliefs. For some, this might require help at first, especially in clearing away blocks held in the unconscious mind and difficult to unearth for examination. The good news is that the more you practice examining your thoughts and beliefs the easier it is to continue. It rapidly becomes a way of life as your understanding deepens of the intricate relationship of your conscious and unconscious minds.
Personal growth is the path to bringing more Light into your life. Embrace the journey. Do the work. Examine what you believe, both consciously and unconsciously, and grow.
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