Change has certainly been on my mind lately—can you tell from my posts? Some of this change energy, maybe most of it, is coming from outside sources, including the influences of the planets, stars, heavens, recalling the quotes I used from my astrologer friend, Chris Largent, last week.
It is important to be aware of these outside influences in order to react, reflect and respond appropriately. And this happens on the inside, the only source and cause of true change. We have to consciously step through that gateless gate!
I was still in the middle of all this rumination when I wrote my “morning pages” this past Monday. Here’s what I’d like to share:
Everybody seems to be on edge, maybe a threshold, balancing on that edge, uncertain, teetering forth and back, wondering, hesitant, angry at the hesitance, fearful of the advance. Yet, advance we must straight into April and lovely days ahead to celebrate wakefulness.
It is good to wake up. It is good to be alive. Yes, I have met with irritation today, my old friend. And he is as grumpy as ever, rasping about people in his way, people with attitudes, people not following the rules – his rules. I have met with him and asked him to leave. I have too much to do to deal with irritation. It is a pointless and wasteful feeling. He is gone and I welcome the clear, clean air of April.
And maybe I’m a fool to seek happiness and joy in all things. There is often good reason to be in irritation’s field. But reason doesn’t make it right. The foolishness of joy is not wrong. Maybe it is unreasonable but never wrong.
I will seek out joy today. I would much rather be in his company. Some days I would rather be happy and irrational, living with Pi and Phi, than living in my left brain with the thinker, too often stinker.
Flow, goodness, grace, Tao. These are the way. This is The Way, the Immortal Way. How can an irritable man ever be good company, live as an Immortal? This is not the way!
And so I write, I look for the change. The door to Immortality stands wide open. The threshold of that door is joy. Happiness lives beyond. The simple act of crossing that threshold concludes the Pursuit of Happiness. It is right there, a fool’s paradise, so easy to reach out to, beyond. Just beyond.
Is this an April Fool’s joke I’m playing on myself? Can it really be so easy? And what if it is? Isn’t everything I write about choice? I believe it is. Stepping across the threshold is a choice. And this door of the threshold? It is that gateless gate of Zen. It swings both ways. There is always the “anti-choice” of reversion to old ways, meeting up with irritation again! Why I would want to do that is a mystery but it does happen. But maybe with the support of Heaven it doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe I can stay on the grace and happiness side of the gate. Maybe the world over there is perfect, just as it is. There is nothing wrong on that side of the gate that needs my attention. It is all good, just as it is. All I have to do is see it that way. And maybe some would say this is looking through “rose-colored glasses”. So what? Those who say that covet the glasses!
Is there sickness, old-age and death on that side of the gate? Of course there is! All the people caught up in all their desires are still there. Those still pursuing happiness are still there. It is a gateless gate—there is nothing that gate separates! In this sense nothing has changed. They have not crossed the threshold. It is I who have changed. It all only bubbles up from the inside. The gate that is not a barrier is inside. The threshold of joy is inside. The choice to cross the threshold is made in silence, promised to no one, confessed only in the stillness of every moment.
Change is that simple. And this may be the most difficult vow I can take and keep. Is there any way that I can say goodbye to irritation, dismiss him forever? This is only one step to take beyond the threshold. And from that new place I can hope to say, yes to this promise. One step into the new current is all it takes. And the flow will take me in a whole new direction…I am willing to let that current take me.
This is the water of my life. It is moving now, spinning beyond the stagnant backwater I have been stuck in for too long. This pretty April day with Sun, high sky, light breeze ringing bells is a brand new day for this fool to let go of old companions of irritation and rules and head into the unknown space of happiness flowing with whatever currents will come to jostle, cajole, and rejoin me onward beyond joy!
…so it all came tumbling out! And in tomorrow’s post I’ll offer a sequel to this flow toward change, toward happiness I stepped into this week…