What Does Self-Love Look Like? –Richard’s Commentary

“Love creates. Love bonds. Love attracts and holds securely. Love frees. Love develops and Love lets go. Love releases bonds that no longer serve.”

When I first read Rosemary’s “litany” about Love, Paul’s letter to the Corinthians came to mind, that often used text in Christian weddings: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (Quoted from the NIV Bible published by Zondervan.)

While these lists of what Love looks like are superficially very different, they certainly are parallel. Rosemary’s list is about creation and development. There are bonds in Love but those bonds need to serve, not hinder growth. And Paul’s description of Love can certainly apply to creative development, growth. His words almost more appropriately apply to the Love between parent and child; there is a definite paternal quality to his list which likely reflected his feelings toward the Corithians.

Then how do these descriptions of Love apply to Self-Love, the main topic of Rosemary’s post? Creation and development are key in Rosemary’s list. And I believe this is very true for Self-Love to grow and flourish. As humans we can never stop growing, Life is about learning our lessons. And these lessons are all about the evolution of Consciousness. The explosive creation of the Universe, out of Love, initiated this entire evolutionary expansion we find ourselves in the midst of. If we were loved into existence then isn’t it incumbent on us to continue that love-stream?

Then look at what Paul says in the context of Self-Love: it is all about development, growth of a child. What if we apply these actions of patience, kindness, recording no wrongs toward ourselves? This creates an environment for learning our lessons, for expanding our consciousness and contributing to the evolution of Consciousness.

Paul’s and Rosemary’s litanies about Love turn out to be highly parallel and mutually supportive!

And what if we treat ourselves as they both implore? Rosemary says “Love releases bonds that no longer serve.” And Paul says Love “keeps no record of wrongs.” These words are describing forgiveness. And, for me, Self-Love and self-forgiveness are closely bound. There can’t be one without the other. I can only love myself from the capacity to forgive myself. And I can only forgive myself from that secure base of Self-Love.

When I am feeling low I sometimes need to drag out that “record of wrongs” I keep on myself and remember they are past wrongs that I need to let go; I need to release those “bonds that no longer serve.” This is a recurring theme for me; forgiving myself is at the base of picking myself up by my own bootstraps.

“Love is kind, it is not rude, it is not easily angered.” “Love frees.” I need to apply these words to me, often and always. Then perhaps I’ll more easily know what Self-Love does look like. And then, too, I’ll be contributing more to the evolution of Consciousness!

What does Self-Love look like for you?

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