It feels as if we are frequently being asked to ask ourselves, “What really matters?” We get all worked up about something that bothers or frustrates or upsets us. But if we pause and ask, “What really matters in this situation?” would we get so worked up?
It really does seem as if time is speeding up and that the days no longer have the full 24 hours available to us. Does it seem that way to you, too? Whether it’s the Photon Belt or the Earth’s rotation on its axis or some other reason, the FEELING that time is speeding up can lead us to making some decisions about how to spend the time that we do have.
I know there are many days that I wake up with an expectation of what my to-do list looks like but I seem to get caught up in the drama of the day and often get pulled off that list to take care of someone else’s drama. I’m sure that has happened to you, too, hasn’t it? So how do we take back control of our own time?
The first step is to decide what our own values are. Not what we wish they were or what we think they should be, but what we truly believe our values are, deep in our heart. I learned some good exercises when I trained in NLP [Neuro-Linguistic Programming] that help to identify the values that our unconscious minds hold and they are often not what we ‘think’ our values are. How can this be? Our conscious minds use logic not emotion when coming up with a list of values but our unconscious minds develop the list from our emotional beliefs and understandings, of ourselves and of our lives. The unconscious mind is focused on surviving the day, based on whatever it believes about our safety and security. While one’s conscious mind might think that eating healthy foods is a high value, the unconscious mind might be remembering a time when food was scarce and created a desire to eat everything in sight in case there’s no more food to eat later. One’s conscious mind might think that being with friends is the most important thing to do today while the unconscious mind might be craving some alone time. The body might respond to this values conflict by creating illness so that the alone time takes precedence over the friend time.
Do you see how this works? Have you ever experienced this seeming contradiction? What do you do about it?
Well, as in most things, when living a Conscious Life, the first thing to do is to hit the ‘pause button’ and really look at how time is being spent. Again, not in how you wish it were but in how it is realistically being devoted to activities. Keep a time diary, in 15 minute increments, for a few days. No judgments here, just record, from a curious, non-judgmental and accepting viewpoint. Do you need more alone time? You might see you are pulling out of social engagements, always having a good reason but maybe it is because you have said ‘yes’ to something that your unconscious mind wanted you to say ‘no’ to. Are you avoiding being with someone that you think you like but that you seem to have lots of reasons to avoid? Maybe that person really doesn’t resonate with you but you haven’t yet figured out how to shift things so that you don’t have to spend time with them.
The list can go on and on, but the important thing to realize is that, conscious or unconscious, your values, what really matters to you, is driving your life at some level. Even if you frequently make choices that contradict the values of your unconscious mind, you will start to find the debilitating nature of illness or accident or drama pointing the way for you to find answers about what you truly value in your life.
Doesn’t it make sense to do the personal growth work so that you can become conscious about your values and the choices that you are making? Make a commitment to start this work today!
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Mystic Messages 
MUSE-INGS: Healing vs. Curing, an Interesting Concept
July 11, 2012 — RosemaryMany years ago I shared a weekend retreat with Dr. Bernie Siegel, a cancer surgeon who has pioneered the understanding of the mind/body connection in medicine. It was a very special weekend with a small group of us experiencing amazing personal growth in a loving environment. Bernie Siegel introduced me to the idea that healing a life is more important than curing a disease. He spoke of cancer patients who held the space for broken families to come together and heal their wounds around the person who was sick. After the healing, the person might or might not be cured of their disease. Sometimes it was a couple who had grown angry with each other who found healing when they focused their attention on working together to combat the illness, drawing them into a shared battle that resulted in a new closeness. Sometimes it was siblings who were divided over their parents’ estates and money who found that the sibling love-bond was more important when one of them faced a life-threatening illness.
Bernie had us draw pictures and then helped us to interpret them. He said that, before he did cancer surgery or put a patient into treatment, he would have them draw a picture. If the picture showed a lot of anger or fear, he chose to postpone the surgery until the person worked through that to become accepting of the treatment. He told the story of a patient who was a Quaker who struggled with all the war-talk about treating his cancer: killing cancer cells, the war on cancer, etc. Bernie invited him to re-imagine the chemo treatment in a way that was comfortable to him. The patient drew a picture of helpers gently carrying away the cancer cells and leaving his healthy cells behind. The chemo was very successful after that.
Our minds have the power to change our lives. The man above still had a disease to deal with, but his perspective shifted away from the battle for the cure and onto the path for the healing. The chemo and treatment stayed the same. All that shifted was how he viewed this and how his doctor talked with him about it. Mind talk and outer language.
When I learned the power of mind talk and outer language I became an avid student of Neuro-Linguistic Programming [NLP] and Hypnosis. How powerful these tools are in helping people!
And so, as you might know, we recently faced the possibility of losing our house in Colorado Springs to the Waldo Canyon Wildfire. The fire raged and then swept over a ridge toward our house. The entire area had been evacuated in anticipation of the danger but we were already staying with our daughter 2000 miles away, awaiting the sale of that same house. We watched in horror as we saw flames engulfing the hill upon which our house stood, not knowing what would be the outcome.
Many people supported us with their good thoughts and prayers. Some said, ‘We pray that your house is still standing after this.’ But we were praying for something different. We prayed that whatever happened would be in our highest good. We knew that, whether the house stood or did not withstand the flames, there is a plan and the plan is working out as it should. We knew, too, that we would learn and grow from whatever that experience proved to be.
I won’t lie and say that this has not been an emotional time, but, in the midst of the distress, we let go of the personal items that were in the house, possibly burned. We let go of our attachment to that beautiful house and accepted its fate, whatever that was. Most of our distress was in the ‘not knowing’ and in the worry over the other residents and the firefighters who were valiantly attempting to save our house and others.
The house is fine. It stands intact. Our friend was able to inspect it for us and to report that it is ‘as if nothing happened.’ Our entire block is still standing, with the loss of 1 deck the only damage that we know of on the block. Others very nearby were not so fortunate.
We are now planning to rent our furnished house to neighbors who need to rebuild after their house was destroyed by the fire. It is an amazing consciousness to realize that perhaps our house had not sold yet so that it could be standing and available as housing for others. No one was hurt in it or saving it from the flames.
If we had prayed for the house to withstand the fire, we would have been praying for the cure. Instead, we focused on accepting whatever the outcome might be, so that we might grow through the experience. We prayed for healing.
We have grown. And we now have the opportunity to use the house that still stands to assist another family through their healing.
Which will you seek in the situations of your life? Healing or Curing the Disease?
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