Seems this message keeps popping up, doesn’t it? ‘You are always at choice in your life.’
I used to argue with the Universe about this one. ‘But what about [fill in the blank] where I don’t feel I had any choice?’ The answer always seemed to have been, ‘You could have chosen to do nothing. You felt that you had to make a choice because you didn’t like the consequences of not choosing or of choosing other options.’ That was correct.
So how in your life today are you making a choice that you don’t realize is a choice? Look first at those things that you feel are ‘givens’ in your life, the things that feel as if they can never be different. So often these are the places where we must begin to reclaim our power by observing the ways in which we take away our own ability to choose by refusing to see that we have an ability to make a choice.
Often the most powerful moments in a coaching session come when the client begins to see that they actually have a choice in a situation in which they were feeling trapped, believing that there was no choice other than the one they had made. Opening up to the possibility that you have chosen something, that decisions you have made along the way have brought you to this moment, does not have to feel like a criticism or a judgment – it is really just an observation. And it is an empowering observation.
Are you in a job that is not satisfying? Didn’t you make the choice to accept that job?
Are you in a marriage that is not fulfilling? Didn’t you choose to marry that person?
The list goes on, and what matters is not that you beat yourself up for making that choice, but that you see there are choices now that you can make to change things. If you believe that you cannot leave your marriage, then you must realize that there are reasons that you are choosing to stay but that you CAN leave, you just choose not to [perhaps for some very good reasons, but you still have a choice]. Do you feel that you cannot leave your job because there are no jobs out there? You CAN leave your job but you might like the paycheck more than the uncertainty of finding another job.
Owning your power to choose can make a huge difference in living a conscious life. When you view your life as filled with choice, then you become empowered to grow, to move forward, to reach for your dreams. If you continue to view yourself as the victim then you are stopped dead in the water, unable to muster the energy or the power to direct your path forward toward your dreams.
Which way do you choose to live? Choose to be a victim and stay stuck or choose to see yourself as empowered to make choices and move in the direction of your dreams. It really is up to you.
I remember a time when I was just old enough for my parents to leave me at home alone. The family was going to visit grandparents and I wanted to stay home alone. My parents allowed me to make that choice. But as soon as they pulled away from the curb, I wished I had gone with them. I think I was exercising the right to choose without thinking about what the consequences of that choice might be. I was suddenly lonely. But I had made my choice. And I made a different choice the next time based on what I learned, the feedback I received after that first choice.
This is the cycle that is empowering. Make a choice. Notice the results of that choice. Analyze the feedback and decide to continue making that choice or to make a new choice.
You can change your life but only when you realize that you are able to make choices.
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