Most messages are about serving, about how connected we all are, how helping others is helping ourselves. Today’s message is different. This one is about YOU and taking care of YOU.
Society teaches us to serve others until we are depleted. At least, that’s what I learned as I was growing up, especially as a woman. ‘It’s better to give than to receive.’ ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’
The problem with those sayings is that we didn’t get the nuance that we ALSO need to take care of ourselves or we won’t have anything to give to others!
If we give, give, give until there is nothing left to give, then the next person who needs us is out of luck. I learned from Lisa Nichols the best image of appropriate service. She used the metaphor of a cup and saucer, where the cup represents you and you fill it up until it overflows, then you serve from the saucer. If you are always filling up your cup, there is always overflow from which to serve and you are never depleted. This means that you don’t have to stop serving to restore yourself – you keep filling yourself up and you can keep serving from the saucer.
And if it’s so wonderful to give, what about those of us who have learned to give but have never learned how to receive? Aren’t we depriving others of the opportunity to give to us? Think about that nuance. Maybe it is better to give someone else the opportunity to give to us than to always receive the pleasure of giving without letting anyone else have that fun.
Now, I’m not referring here to the political debates about the ‘givers’ and the ‘takers.’ Those labels are being used maliciously to justify certain positions and we’re not getting into politics here.
But most of us know what giving to others means and our generous, conscious, compassionate humanity leads us to give what and when we can.
It’s okay to consider yourself and your own needs. Sometimes we need permission to do that. You have that permission now. Focusing on what you need is vital to supporting your efforts to help others in need. Fill up your cup so you can serve from the saucer.
Reframe the word ‘selfish’ to ‘self-focused’ so you can release the pejorative judgments that go along with the idea of thinking of self. YOU are the one on Planet Earth at this time to live YOUR Soul Purpose. Taking care of yourself is essential to showing up for your Purpose.
Recently I’ve been doing Scientific Hand Analysis sessions for clients who are in the School of Service, one of the four schools in this system. The lesson in this Life School is to become a Master of Service Consciousness, understanding the difference between Service and Servitude. Service comes from a place of joy in the service and the act of serving is its own reward, with no concerns about ‘thank you’ or reciprocation. Servitude is saying ‘yes’ and then resenting that choice, wishing we’d said ‘no’ and wanting to get out of the obligation, or, worse, resenting the person to whom we made the commitment.
All of us are here to serve, not just those whose handprints indicate that their Life School is Service [this is just their Major at Earth University!], but we all need to learn to take care of ourselves so that we are available to help others.
What does this mean for you? Are you able to say ‘no’ when you need to, without feeling guilty about it? Are you filling up your cup so you can serve from the saucer or do you wait until you’re depleted so you can give yourself permission to stop and refresh?
Be conscious about putting ‘I’ on your to do list! Take care of YOU first and you’ll be able to take care of everyone who needs you!
After all, ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself’ doesn’t mean much if you don’t love yourself enough to take care of YOU!
PS: Are you curious about how your hand and fingerprints reveal your Life Pupose? Explore this more here.