Conversations. Dialogue. Words to consider. Sometimes a topic or an issue can be such a polarizing subject that people shy away from having a discussion. Perhaps it is time for reviving the practice of dialogue, where we learn to discuss a topic even while disagreeing.
It used to be that civility required that one not attack a person for the ideas that they held. Ideas could be discussed, even debated, without the debate becoming a personal attack. Some people are forgetting that. In drawing rooms of old people sought out others to listen to the information being discussed and to proffer opinions but to genuinely listen with openness to what was being offered by others. We don’t seem to be teaching the children of today about this art of conversation.
On television, they see a point/counterpoint discussion of people yelling at each other and interrupting. School debate teams might be more civilized but they imply that there are only two sides to each issue. What about the gray areas? What about a third perspective or the middle ground? Why must every discussion become a debate in the form of right/wrong and ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’? How will our children grow up to be good conversationalists and to learn to really listen to what others are saying when they aren’t seeing it modeled in the society around them?
Too many families are too busy to have dinner around the table so that the art of conversation can be practiced. It is as small children sitting with the family that people learn to model conversations. Learning to wait one’s turn before speaking, to really listen to another rather than be thinking of the next thing to say are qualities that one must be taught, preferably by example. Talking about an idea, a topic of interest, and learning how to respect another’s opinion even when it differs from one’s own, are important skills to learn as a young person.
Several years ago I was picking up my grandchildren from their elementary school and was shocked to hear the tone of voice being used to address teachers as well as other students. The tone did not convey respect and I heard it over and over again. Parents have a difficult time training their children to show respect in their speech when for many hours a day a different attitude becomes the norm. But it is worth the effort for parents to teach their children how to listen and how to speak to be heard.
Every discussion in which one participates requires that one consider the feelings of the other person with respect. Whether that other person is a dear friend, a family member or a stranger in a store makes no difference. They deserve respect and honor. And so do you. Don’t let others talk to you with a lack of respect. Your ideas are worthy of discussion and you deserve to be listened to. The best way to receive this kind of treatment is to model it. Pay attention to the energy in your conversations and notice how you feel when you are talking with others. Do some make you feel comfortable and heard? Or do they make you feel small, dismissed, or ignorant? Consider this when you decide where to spend your time. Actively seek out those who help you to expand your horizons while respecting you and your ideas. Be the person in the conversation who is always elevating it to the plane of higher consciousness. You will feel good and others will, too!
Mystic Messages 
MUSE-INGS: Be the Example of Good Conversation Skills
April 1, 2010 — RosemaryConversations. Dialogue. Words to consider. Sometimes a topic or an issue can be such a polarizing subject that people shy away from having a discussion. Perhaps it is time for reviving the practice of dialogue, where we learn to discuss a topic even while disagreeing.
It used to be that civility required that one not attack a person for the ideas that they held. Ideas could be discussed, even debated, without the debate becoming a personal attack. Some people are forgetting that. In drawing rooms of old people sought out others to listen to the information being discussed and to proffer opinions but to genuinely listen with openness to what was being offered by others. We don’t seem to be teaching the children of today about this art of conversation.
On television, they see a point/counterpoint discussion of people yelling at each other and interrupting. School debate teams might be more civilized but they imply that there are only two sides to each issue. What about the gray areas? What about a third perspective or the middle ground? Why must every discussion become a debate in the form of right/wrong and ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’? How will our children grow up to be good conversationalists and to learn to really listen to what others are saying when they aren’t seeing it modeled in the society around them?
Too many families are too busy to have dinner around the table so that the art of conversation can be practiced. It is as small children sitting with the family that people learn to model conversations. Learning to wait one’s turn before speaking, to really listen to another rather than be thinking of the next thing to say are qualities that one must be taught, preferably by example. Talking about an idea, a topic of interest, and learning how to respect another’s opinion even when it differs from one’s own, are important skills to learn as a young person.
Several years ago I was picking up my grandchildren from their elementary school and was shocked to hear the tone of voice being used to address teachers as well as other students. The tone did not convey respect and I heard it over and over again. Parents have a difficult time training their children to show respect in their speech when for many hours a day a different attitude becomes the norm. But it is worth the effort for parents to teach their children how to listen and how to speak to be heard.
Every discussion in which one participates requires that one consider the feelings of the other person with respect. Whether that other person is a dear friend, a family member or a stranger in a store makes no difference. They deserve respect and honor. And so do you. Don’t let others talk to you with a lack of respect. Your ideas are worthy of discussion and you deserve to be listened to. The best way to receive this kind of treatment is to model it. Pay attention to the energy in your conversations and notice how you feel when you are talking with others. Do some make you feel comfortable and heard? Or do they make you feel small, dismissed, or ignorant? Consider this when you decide where to spend your time. Actively seek out those who help you to expand your horizons while respecting you and your ideas. Be the person in the conversation who is always elevating it to the plane of higher consciousness. You will feel good and others will, too!
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