Yes, I have modified my FREE weekly Ezine to include a video message of inspiration. I am posting these videos here on the Tuesdays following their publication in my Ezine, the MuseLetter.
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Relationships. Always a challenge. Always an opportunity. Always a potential source of joy.
Sometimes we think immediately of an intimate or love relationship when we hear the word, but we are in relationships with others whether they be long term, intimate or just the person who is the cashier at the grocery store. Do you think of relationships in this way?
When a grocery cashier seems to be having a bad day or appears grumpy, what is your reaction? Do you get grumpy in response or do you get understanding and sympathetic? When your child is angry and upset and possibly screaming at you, do you react in kind or do you try to look at things from their perspective? When your partner has upset you, are you in reactive mode or thoughtful mode to see what you are really feeling and which lens you are looking through?
I was working with a client recently and received this guidance for her: Give yourself permission to have the reaction but choose the best response. You don’t have to follow through with the reaction. You have options to respond a different way. It can be easy to keep going with the initial knee-jerk reaction but when you are living a Conscious Life you hit the pause button, notice the reaction but choose the appropriate response.
For example, those of us who are helpers tend to jump to help another when we perceive the need. But is this the best response? Are we looking through our own lens and not allowing them to have theirs? Our reaction might be to jump in and help but perhaps the best response is to support them in finding their own solution.
Or someone might be angry and our immediate reaction is to feel that they are angry at us. They might not even be noticing us at the time but we react to their anger without pausing to see if that is the best response for us to choose at the time. Maybe our Dad hit us when he was angry and the little child in us is afraid that will happen again whenever we are around anger. Or we had a lover once who shouted angrily just before they stormed out of the door, never to be seen again, and we are reacting with our fear of being abandoned again.
There is always so much more going on in any relationship than meets the eye at the surface of things. Allow yourself the freedom to take time to notice where you are in your own feelings as you relate to others. Are YOU having a bad day and the grocery cashier being slow allows you to vent your feelings on them? Is your partner really upsetting you or are you already upset about something and they are merely triggering your reaction?
Be conscious of your feelings. If you need to, then practice going inside to assess what is true for you in this present moment. Your lens has been created by all of your life experiences and it exists at an unconscious level within you. It’s not something that you can access through analysis or your mind. You must learn to feel your feelings and to express them appropriately. But this can only happen if you take time to do the inner work, uncover what exists at the unconscious level and bring it into your awareness.
The most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. Are you looking at yourself through a harsh, judgmental lens, created from your past experiences? Or is your lens foggy with misconceptions or blurry images that you haven’t taken the time to examine and clear up? Maybe the place to start is to work on this internal relationship first. Then you can change the prescription on your lens and see all your other relationships in a new light!
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Mystic Messages 
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Surprise!!!
March 27, 2013 — RosemaryWhat is your attitude toward surprises? Many people say they don’t like to be surprised. They want to know if there is a surprise party for them about to happen. They don’t like change. They don’t like the feeling of ‘not knowing.’ They don’t like to feel that they are not in control.
But what about loving surprises? Loving that surprise party that a loved one engineered just for you. Being thrilled when someone does something nice for you or gives you an unexpected gift. How do you feel when that happens?
Life on the Earthly Plane is full of surprises. Some of these surprises are as thrilling as that unexpected gift. Some, however, are not so much fun. Are you willing to accept the ‘not knowing’ as an essential part of life on Earth?
As a human being, it is easy to fall into the trap of always wanting to be in control of your life. That would be nice. But the Earth is inhabited by other human beings who also want to be in control of their lives. What happens when these two desires collide?
Life can become chaotic through no fault of yours. Or you can thrive on the drama that chaos creates. Things can go smoothly for about a minute and then some new wrinkle is thrown into your day. How do you react?
The important part of growing in your level of consciousness is to make peace with the understanding that you will never be in 100% control of your environment and the circumstances of your time on Earth. Other people around you have free will and will sometimes make choices that will conflict with your desires, especially if one of your desires is for total peace and control over everything.
And sometimes Mother Nature decides to let you know that she is in control of her biosphere – that you are allowed to inhabit HER domain but she is ultimately in charge. Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, winter storms, lightning – these are not under your control and yet they happen. What is your response?
Are you reading these words and thinking that they conflict with the concept of ‘your thoughts create your reality’? There really is no conflict, if you think about it deeply.
The point is not that people don’t sit around wishing for a huge storm to come and destroy their house. But there are a lot of people who are worrying about that eventuality. Worry sets up the same magnet of attraction as desire does – did you know that? Thinking about what you don’t want does attract that very energy.
And thinking about what you do want has to have some caveats attached to it. Not the usual, ‘is it realistic?’ caveat, which really means, ‘can you see the way to make that happen?’ But are you wishing for something that takes away the power of others to have free will?
I’ve heard people say that they are trying to work with the Law of Attraction but that other person still hasn’t changed into what they want them to be. Hmmmmm…… What’s wrong with this picture?
How about understanding that not knowing HOW you will receive that which you are desiring allows the Universe to bring it to you in unexpected, surprising ways? And if you are working with the Law of Attraction you must be honoring other Laws of the Universe, including the Law of Free Will of all individuals. You do not have permission to try to make others change.
When you demand control of your environment, you limit the ways in which the Universe answers your requests. Your thoughts are projecting an often unconscious request to keep things just the way they are. And, yet, there are laws of the Universe about change being ever present.
Your thoughts are sending out energy that does create those storms and that chaos and we’ll talk about that later. For today, remember this equation:
EVENT leads to your REACTION and then you choose a RESPONSE.
While you might not control all the events that happen [Surprise!] and your reaction is your immediate ‘knee jerk’ feeling, you DO control how you respond. Put your energies into practicing Conscious Response – choosing the response that demonstrates your personal growth. Then you can relax into making peace with the ‘not knowing’ and enjoy the ‘Surprise!’
PS: Why not surprise yourself this week with a Discovery Session with me? They are FREE! Go here to apply